a return to positive thinking

Something dawned on me this morning (HAHA get it??)...I've become a negative thinker over the last few months.

It didn't occur to me until this morning when I was contemplating getting out of bed.  Remember how I said we're looking to buy a house?  Bob and I have been talking about one particular house for weeks now.  We went to an open house last month and spent over an hour there, way more time than anyone else who came to see it.  We must have gone through the house at least four times.  We came away feeling kind of 50/50 on the house.  It's old.  Very old.  But over the last several weeks we just haven't been able to get it out of our minds.  So last night we made a list of the pros and cons.  Then this morning we both woke up and pretty much said, "This is the one."

So, anyway, when I was in bed this morning it suddenly occurred to me that I've become very negative lately, which I know is due to the fact that I took the wrong job and am miserable.  It's plaguing other areas of my life, like a disease.  Any time I think about hopefully getting the job I want or buying a new house, all I can think about is why I won't get that job or why we won't be able to buy the house (offer won't be accepted, house will have structural issues, can't sell ours, appraisal won't come out to enough to pay off the mortgage and we'll be stuck, no one will want to rent from us, etc.).  And that is very unlike me.  All my life I've been one to just make up my mind I'm going to do something and then I just go and do it.  Yes, I think about it and consider the pros and cons, but once my mind is made up it's all positive thoughts.  I'm always 100% convinced that X is going to happen and it does, pretty much without fail.  It never enters into my mind that I can't do something or I won't get the outcome I want.  It just won't happen.

I guess the point is, when I woke up this morning and decided I want that house, my positive thinking returned.  And my energy.  My body is positively humming with energy right now.  So much so that the amount of time it's taking me to type this is just agonizing, because I want to move onto the next thing.  I hate when things feel stagnant.  I want action and want things to move forward.  I've had enough of standing still, no matter what area of my life it is.