Thursday, December 31, 2020

good riddance, 2020!

So...how many of us are elated 2020 will be done and gone by midnight? I can't imagine many people are disappointed. That said, while 2020 sucked (pandemic; we lost several kitties--Oscar, Tessa and Tigger), there were some good things that happened.

Health

Back Surgery

I finally had my lumbar fusion back in March. I no longer have sciatica, which is great. Recovery went well physically for the most part.  My first surgery was March 3, right when the pandemic was picking up speed, and the second was March 17, which is when schools started shutting down and events were being cancelled. Recovering from back surgery during a pandemic was tough, because I probably would have felt better if I'd been able to get back to a regular routine earlier. With everything being shut down, my life became just trips to the pharmacy and the grocery store, and that was only after I could drive myself. I took a few trips prior, as I was absolutely desperate to get out of the house. 

Mentally, it was...rough. That's probably an understatement. While it really sucked having to be home all the time due to the pandemic, and then moving to remote-only work once I was cleared to start working again, it was much harder coming off the opioid pain medication, which I'd been on for almost a year. At the time I had absolutely no idea that weaning off after so long could cause depression and anxiety--two things I'd never dealt with before. I really, really wish the doctor or the physician's assistants had told me what to expect. But they didn't. (I assume it's because the pain management doctor was managing my pain meds before surgery, and then that was transferred to the back surgeon's team. And don't get me started on the PAs--they sometimes made me feel like a drug addict.) I knew about the possible physical side effects--thankfully I didn't have any--I knew nothing about the mental effects. So, since I had no idea all this emotional turmoil was common, I spent weeks getting worse and worse, thinking I was just a basket case and having no idea what was going on. My poor husband had no idea what to do with me.  (And, honestly, I didn't even know what to do with myself.) I contacted the doctor's office to ask if it was the gabapentin, since that can cause issues. They took me off of it, but I was still a mess. After talking to several people in my life, it became apparent that all of this was the effect of weaning off the pain meds. I contacted the office again and the PA's answer was, "We don't prescribe anti-anxiety meds. Go see your primary doctor or a therapist." By the time I finally got an appointment with the primary doctor, I was just about done with the meds, but she prescribed an anti-depressant, which I don't think helped at all. But once I was off the pain meds, the depression and anxiety just magically went away. Never once did the PAs ever suggest that maybe it was the pain meds and the fact I was weaning off after a year. 

I'm back to working out now. Although I'd gone through physical therapy and started doing some light workouts at home--partly to get back into shape and build my strength, but also to feel a little bit "normal"--I didn't go back to my personal trainer until October, mostly because he needed emergency knee surgery, but also because I wasn't cleared to do all that much yet, which meant I wouldn't really get my money's worth from going to the trainer. 

I'm having some issues with my hips now, so I plan to see the hip doctor. My back surgeon gave me several cortisone shots for bursitis, but they didn't help the second time around. The hip issue makes it hard to sit at my desk for very long.  Since I have a desk job, that makes work difficult sometimes. It's a bit depressing to have fixed one problem and now be dealing with another. But at least my back is fixed, I guess!

Some days.                                                                Other days.


Cancer Scare

A couple months ago I had an abnormal mammogram for the first time in my life--I'm 46 so I admittedly haven't had all that many yet. It was very unexpected and I was beating myself up for being six months late, which was due to COVID and the back surgery recovery. The whole time I told my logical self that it's very likely nothing since breast cancer doesn't run in my family and if it IS something, it's very early and would be completely treatable.  But my emotional self was scared as hell that it would be something. I had another mammogram on that one breast along with an ultrasound and was then told it's very likely nothing, but I had a choice to come back in six months for another mammogram or have an MBI done, which stands for molecular breast imaging. It's like a cross between a mammogram and an MRI, along with an injection of a radio tracer. I went for the MBI for peace of mind, as I know people who either knew or suspected something was wrong an ignored it; were misdiagnosed and it was too late once they got a correct diagnosis; or were just completely blindsided because there were no symptoms. Although it was nerve-wracking, it turned out to be nothing! Now it's just a matter of checking up on it every six months.

Weight

We won't go there.  All I need to say about this is that I had two back surgeries during a pandemic and also had to deal with coming off opioid pain meds. I've got some work to do in the kitchen and out in the gym...

Finances

We were able to sell our old house right before the pandemic hit.  We'd we'd rented it out to various people when we moved six years ago.  That was a huge mistake, but thankfully we no longer have to worry about that house or anything else that goes along with it. The closing was about a week before my back surgery.  Now that we don't have another mortgage to worry about, we've been able to pay off some credit cards, though we still have a long ways to go.

Christmas

How does Christmas manage to come so fast every year? Especially this year. I thought for sure this year would drag by slowly, but it seems to have gone by faster than any other year. To me, at least.

As usual, we went to Old Sturbridge Village for their Christmas by Candlelight program. Given the pandemic, it was different this year. There were attendance restrictions and people were not able to go inside the buildings or get food samples, which is normally my favorite part, especially the mulled cider. Some exhibits were moved outside, while others were done inside, but the windows and/or doors were open so people could look in. Parts of the village that are normally closed for this program were open this year, like the Freeman Farm and the blacksmith shop, where we got to watch them making sleds. They also piped music throughout the village, which was a nice touch. We didn't spend as much time as we normally do since much of the time we spend there is usually inside the buildings, which were mostly off limits, but we still had a good time. We came home with goodies from the gift shop, like village-made tin lanterns and books about old houses, and a local antique store where I got more antique glass Christmas ornaments. Afterwards we went to a late dinner at the Oxhead Tavern.

Some of my "new" ornaments:





At Old Sturbridge Village:




We got two Christmas trees, just like we always do. There's a small tree farm about 20 minutes away and you can cut your own tree. Any tree, no matter how big, is just $30.00. I can get two trees for less than the cost of one from a local pre-cut tree lot (pre-cut trees usually start around $55-$60 and go up from there). One tree is decorated with C9 lights and antique glass ornaments, like the kind I had growing up. I think I now have enough antique ornaments to cover the tree without filling in spots with new ones, though I still put the plastic unbreakable ones on the bottom so the cats don't ruin anything. The other tree has the standard miniature lights and modern ornaments. This year we put that one in the living room and the one with the old fashioned decorations in the den near the fireplace. Given how small the den is we had to find a smaller tree. It fits well and we don't have to maneuver around it.


On Christmas Eve I burned the traditional bayberry candle, which is supposed to bring luck and good fortune to the house in the new year--let's hope 2021 is better than 2020! (The second one will be burned tonight.) Christmas day was a small affair--just me and my husband. It was his first Christmas off in several years, so we decided to stay home. Plus, you know, COVID. We opened gifts, relaxed, watched Christmas shows and movies, and played with the new Atari Flashback I bought for us.  I made a small prime rib, which I'll use the leftovers to make hash, along with mashed potatoes and carrots. It was a good, relaxing day.


I have no plans for tonight other than to make dinner--probably a cheddar BBQ meatloaf--, hang out with my husband and the cats, and maybe play some Atari Flashback. :)

Happy New Year, everyone! PLEASE let 2021 be better!! 

Apparently Bailey has had it with 2020.