Sunday, July 19, 2015

more shopping options!

Today I went to the store to find some summer clothes for my upcoming business trip to Huntington Beach, CA. I have some summer clothes, but not many.

I went to The Avenue first.  I got there around 11:30 am.  Their website said the store opens at 11 am, but it turns out they open at noon on Sunday. The Gap is right next door and I had a half an hour to kill, so I figured I'd look around. The "50% off clearance items" sign in the window lured me in, too. I didn't seriously think I'd find anything - I almost didn't go in - , but was hopeful. 

I've been resisting going to "regular" clothing stores, because I just don't want to deal with walking in, discovering they don't have my size, and then having to turn right back around again; I've been through that many times in my life and it's embarrassing. 

So, I headed into The Gap and prepared myself for disappointment. It took me a few minutes to figure out the store layout - all the clothes looked the same. And I felt so out of place, like everyone was staring at me. The whole time I kept thinking,"They all know I don't belong here. They know I'm a fat person trying to pretend these clothes fit me." I know it's my own self consciousness talking, but I've had a lifetime of these thoughts, so it's hard to undo In one shopping trip.  Everything looked so tiny! Even the XL sizes looked like Barbie doll clothes. But I grabbed a few things and headed for the dressing room.

The first shirt I tried on, an XL, fit, but it was way too form fitting for me (below).  I don't want people looking at my back fat. (I really hate when people wear clothing that's too small and I don't want to look like that.)  

This is a little too tight for me. It shows my rolls.

The next shirt, same size, was more my speed.  It was soft, comfy and roomy. I bought it. I later went online and got one in white.

This shirt I really liked. So soft and comfy.

I tried on capris also. I passed by them a few times, because they looked so tiny sitting there on the table.  I thought they couldn't possibly fit me, but they did!  Misses 16!! I think they look pretty damn good. I bought them because I just couldn't resist. And they were on sale (50% off the clearance price!) so I didn't feel bad about it.

I then went over to The Avenue. I needed a swimsuit for California and luckily I found one on the clearance rack. I got a few t shirts on clearance, too. 

I'm at the point where I can still buy from The Avenue if I get a 14 in pants and a 14/16 in tops, but I think it's time to move on.  I know I can now go to regular stores, but it's still a little scary. I still have the fear that they won't have "my size."  But they do. And it's so exciting!


  1. I find trying on clothes is always a scary thing regardless of my size or the store I'm in.. but massive congrats and full props to you for all your hard work. :)

    I tend to find something I like, and then buy a bunch of the exact same thing, in different colours if possible. Sometimes I put some of my buys away for later use and just wear 4-5 over and over until they wear out.. and because I have spares I don't have to go shopping again for a while. I really have to be in the right mood to shop, otherwise I get frustrated too easily and want to leave.. :)

    But then in 2010 I went to Hawaii, and the clothes there are half to a quarter of the price here.. it is super depressing to shop here now knowing I could be paying so much less over there.. plus the quality is better than it is here. In 2011 I went with 7kg of hand luggage and returned with 80kg of new clothes plus my 7kg hand luggage, and in 2013 me and the other half went with 12kg of luggage, one small suitcase, and returned home with 128kg between us.. and since then I have bought almost no clothes here at all. :)

    1. Clothing is really that expensive where you are?? Wow. I don't blame you for stocking up on clothing here. Certain stores can be expensive here, but it depends where you go. And larger size clothing is just ridiculous. That's another advantage to me losing weight: I no longer NEED to pay $50.00 for a shirt. I can now go to place like Kohl's and Old Navy and spend $25.00.

  2. You look great! You can really see a big difference from the last picture you posted!

    1. Thanks, Badger!! Hope you're doing well. Sorry I haven't been in contact lately. I'm trying to get through my next party.

    2. No problem at all... Work has been crazy busy for me.