i got the job...

I am officially employed again!  I got the job I interviewed for last week.  I start on Tuesday.  I was hoping for another week off, but I'd much rather be making more money than unemployment is paying me.

This weekend I will need to get all my work clothes together and figure out what fits and what doesn't, what is old and worn out, etc.  I'm hoping I don't have to buy any clothes since they won't fit me soon anyway.  I'll also need to figure out how to structure my days so I can get all my water, vitamins, etc.  Then figure out breakfasts and lunches.  Oh boy.  This is getting overwhelming already.

today's lunch...

Today was 2.25 oz of egg salad with a couple crackers.  It wasn't very low in fat, though.  I made it with regular mayo because I was out of the light version.  And my crackers were also regular (buttery Town House crackers, which I LOVE!), not reduced fat.  When I go shopping I plan to get light mayo and reduced fat crackers.

Since I only average about 600 calories a day right now it's probably not a big deal to have the full fat versions of my foods, but I don't want to get into the mindset that it's always OK just because my calories are low.  There's more saturated fat and cholesterol in regular mayo than there is in light mayo.  If arteriosclerosis runs in your family as it does in mine, that's something to think about.

Nutritional breakdown:

• 197 calories
• 18.6 g fat
• .5 g carbs
• 6.3 g protein

I made this with three hard boiled eggs, 4 TB regular mayo and some salt and pepper.  Yields 3-2.25 oz servings.

deleted comments...

I have to apologize.  I accidentally deleted all the comments that were left on my blog.  They weren't deleted because I don't want them there, but because I got a little happy with the Delete button this morning.  Please continue commenting and I will make sure not to delete again.

thoughts on "My 600 lb Life"...

Has anyone see TLC's series My 600 lb Life?  It follows one year in the life of a weight loss surgery patient and they feature a new patient each week.  It chronicles their decision to have the surgery, the surgery itself, life afterwards, and their struggles and successes.  Many of these patients are so obese, they are bedridden. They usually have to lose weight before the surgery, sometimes complications, need physical therapy because they haven't walked in so long. and often have other surgeries afterwards, such as removal of lymphedema masses.  I like the show overall, but I don't think it really presents an accurate picture of what it's really like.  I guess it does from a 600 lb point of view, but it doesn't talk at all about the pre-op testing (sleep study, upper endoscopy, stress test, blood work, etc.), psychiatric evaluation and counseling, nutritional counseling, after-surgery support groups, and what the lifestyle is like afterwards.  It seems as though the patient makes the decision and then just goes and has the surgery.  I'm sure they go through more than that, but you wouldn't know it from watching the show and that's where I find fault with it.

The episode that aired last week followed Penny's journey.  This episode made me very frustrated.  Penny was bedridden, her husband unemployed, they had a small son, and they were living off her Disability money. She was fairly young, too.  In her 30s, I believe.  Prior to surgery she weighed 530 lbs. The doctor required her to lose some weight before surgery. She lost 40 lbs.  So, she had a gastric bypass and lost...nothing. Nothing in the entire year TLC followed her progress.  In fact, she gained weight.

So why did Penny not succeed?  Because she was a total "victim".  Nothing was her fault, the scales were wrong/broken (the HOSPITAL scales!), she wouldn't walk, and she refused to set goals because she said that guaranteed she would fail.  Her husband was a complete enabler. He would go out any buy any food she wanted.  The shopping list was all junk food and he admitted he knew he shouldn't buy the junk, but also knew he'd face Penny's wrath if he didn't.  A nutritionist came in to teach the family how to eat.  Also, a physical therapist came in to help get Penny walking again.  Neither worked.  I think the worst of it all, and the biggest reason she failed, is she seemed to believe that the surgery would magically fix everything and guarantee she would lose weight.   Penny didn't seem to realize or acknowledge that she would have to actually do some work by following the diet, exercising, and following up with the doctor.  It's dangerous to have that attitude.  That's not how it works.  Yes, it makes your stomach tiny so you can only eat so much at a time, but you can still eat in excess of the calories you need by grazing all day long.  And it was clear she was eating way more than she was supposed to, and eating the wrong foods.

I was really surprised that Penny was approved for weight loss surgery.  And I'm surprised a doctor would do this surgery given her mentality.  Her story is why I wonder what kind of pre-op work is done when patients appear on this show.  I had to have a psychiatric evaluation and meet with a counselor several times before I could be approved for surgery.  They want to make sure that you will follow through with the diet and do everything you're supposed to do in order to have success.  And, of course, want to address any mental health issues.  Maybe they did a psych eval and she totally snowed them.  I don't know.

Here's a link to the story:  Penny's story
Here's a link to an article about the backlash in response to her story:  Backlash

baked lentils...

Tonight I made baked lentils topped with cheese.  It's a recipe that was recently given to me by my sister-in-law, which was adapted from the More-with-Less Cookbook by Doris Janzen Longacre.  I made my own adjustments to it.  I omitted the celery and peppers.  Not because I don't like them, but because I didn't have celery in the house and the frozen chopped peppers looked like a science experiment so I threw them out.  (I don't bother buying fresh peppers unless I'm making stuffed peppers.)  I followed the recipe as written, but when it was time to add the cheese on top, the casserole just seemed very plain. All I could smell was the onions and canned tomatoes.  It was a little too loose for me.  I guess I expected a thick casserole. I then added a jar of pasta sauce and about a 1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese.    That did the trick.  It came out great.  I would make it again, although I would probably halve the recipe.  There's no way we would eat all this before it's time to toss it.

I calculated out all the calories, fat, carbs, and protein and divided that by an approximate number of servings.  Assuming I can eat a full serving, I'll get about 11g of protein.  Here are the pictures:

Before going into the oven.

Finished product.

My approximate serving size.  This is about 3 ounces, 

which is a little much for me in one sitting.

insults disguised as compliments...

I was on a bariatric surgery forum this morning and someone posted that she had always had people tell her, "You have such a pretty face."  It reminded me of all the times well-meaning people have said this to me, thinking it's a compliment when it's actually an subtle insult.  It's basically saying that the rest of me is fat and ugly, and the only thing remotely attractive or redeeming about me is my face.   One of my first boyfriends said this to me.  "You have a pretty face, but you need to work on things from your neck down."  I was hurt, but being the people pleaser I was (I was 14), I didn't give it another thought and stayed with him.  I figured, at least he's honest.  He eventually dumped me, although very indirectly.  Now I know he was just an asshole.  If someone said that to me today I'd probably tell him where to go and how to get there, as well as what he can do to himself once he gets there.

So, the bottom line is this:  if you say this to people, please stop.  You're not complimenting the person. You're making them feel bad about themselves, like they're not enough.

tonight's dinner...

I went to Whole Foods today, which was tough because there are so many foods I love there.  I was looking for a specific ingredient I needed for a recipe I want to try.  I was OK until I got to the last isle.  I got to the cheese section and that was fine; I'm allowed cheese.  Actually, it's a good source of protein for me. They had some samples out so I grabbed a couple pieces.  Yummy!  Some sort of aged cheddar.  I moved on to the hot bar and after walking around the islands several times I grabbed a small roasted boneless chicken thigh, some garlic green beans, and two roasted Brussels sprouts (I wanted to try something totally new). Oh, and some hummus.  After that I started towards the registers.  Walking by the bakery and the pizza counter was tough.  Not emotional, just tough.  I felt some faint cravings for the pigs in blankets and the fresh bread.  I then started to wander around the bakery area and gaze at all the goods.  I looked for the house made granola bars and found them.  Not sure why I bothered since it's a little too early for those.  And it's a total binge food for me.  Realizing that I was starting to lust after the bagels, I grabbed some donuts for Bob and left.

So here's tonight's dinner.  1.5 oz chicken, half a Brussels sprout and three garlic green beans.  Verdict?  My stomach wasn't too thrilled with the chicken.  It felt kinda heavy in there and it just didn't agree.  It could be that chicken isn't going to by my friend anymore, or could be all the oil.  Given the level of sheen on these food items, I'm willing to bet they were cooked with a crap load of oil.  I'm not sure how I feel about the Brussels sprout.  It was OK.  I didn't detect anything other than oil. No seasonings or anything.  I think I might try making my own before I make a final decision.

And obviously Max enjoyed playing in the bag.

today's lunch...

Today for lunch I had some refried beans sprinkled with a little shredded cheddar cheese.  This is one of my staples since it tastes good, it's filling, and it's easy to eat.  The protein is pretty good, too.  It's a mouth-friendly meal while I'm waiting to get my root canal finished.

1/4 cup of refried beans and 1/8 cup shredded cheddar:

• 129 calories
• 5.6g fat
• 12.5g carbs
• 7.7g protein

down 47.4 lbs today...

It seems as though my weight loss is going very slow and that it's been much longer than a month since surgery.  But when I think about the fact that I lost 21 lbs on the pre-op diet and 26.4 lbs since surgery a month ago, I realize that's pretty damn good!

I've had some non-scale victories ("NSV") as well:  I can close my coat AND it OVERLAPS; my knees don't bother me anymore; my shirts hang better; and I don't feel and look like the Michelin Man anymore.

Time to start the daily cycle of water, protein, and vitamins.

today's breakfast and lunch...

I did a little something different today for breakfast.  I wanted an egg as usual, but didn't feel like dirtying another frying pan.  So I had a cottage cheese double (strawberry) and low fat string cheese.  14g of protein total!  At first I ate only the cottage cheese, but it's a "slider" food and it didn't really fill me.  A slider food is one that is very soft and tends to slide through your pouch pretty fast.  Think yogurt, very soft scrambled eggs, soup, etc.

For lunch I tried a Gorton's Grilled Haddock fillet.  No pans needed!  Just one fork, foil and a paper plate. Tasted good, but definitely required more chewing.  It was a nice change, though.

Soon I will start posting more exciting foods.  Even though I've been unemployed for a couple months now, I haven't experimented with any GB-friendly recipes yet.  Mainly because of this damn root canal.  I don't feel like having to chew too much and don't want to risk upsetting my temporary filling.  I'll be happy when the permanent cap is on.  I'm dying to break into the cashews that have been waiting for me in the cupboard!