good riddance, 2020!

So...how many of us are elated 2020 will be done and gone by midnight? I can't imagine many people are disappointed. That said, while 2020 sucked (pandemic; we lost several kitties--Oscar, Tessa and Tigger), there were some good things that happened.

Health

Back Surgery

I finally had my lumbar fusion back in March. I no longer have sciatica, which is great. Recovery went well physically for the most part.  My first surgery was March 3, right when the pandemic was picking up speed, and the second was March 17, which is when schools started shutting down and events were being cancelled. Recovering from back surgery during a pandemic was tough, because I probably would have felt better if I'd been able to get back to a regular routine earlier. With everything being shut down, my life became just trips to the pharmacy and the grocery store, and that was only after I could drive myself. I took a few trips prior, as I was absolutely desperate to get out of the house. 

Mentally, it was...rough. That's probably an understatement. While it really sucked having to be home all the time due to the pandemic, and then moving to remote-only work once I was cleared to start working again, it was much harder coming off the opioid pain medication, which I'd been on for almost a year. At the time I had absolutely no idea that weaning off after so long could cause depression and anxiety--two things I'd never dealt with before. I really, really wish the doctor or the physician's assistants had told me what to expect. But they didn't. (I assume it's because the pain management doctor was managing my pain meds before surgery, and then that was transferred to the back surgeon's team. And don't get me started on the PAs--they sometimes made me feel like a drug addict.) I knew about the possible physical side effects--thankfully I didn't have any--I knew nothing about the mental effects. So, since I had no idea all this emotional turmoil was common, I spent weeks getting worse and worse, thinking I was just a basket case and having no idea what was going on. My poor husband had no idea what to do with me.  (And, honestly, I didn't even know what to do with myself.) I contacted the doctor's office to ask if it was the gabapentin, since that can cause issues. They took me off of it, but I was still a mess. After talking to several people in my life, it became apparent that all of this was the effect of weaning off the pain meds. I contacted the office again and the PA's answer was, "We don't prescribe anti-anxiety meds. Go see your primary doctor or a therapist." By the time I finally got an appointment with the primary doctor, I was just about done with the meds, but she prescribed an anti-depressant, which I don't think helped at all. But once I was off the pain meds, the depression and anxiety just magically went away. Never once did the PAs ever suggest that maybe it was the pain meds and the fact I was weaning off after a year. 

I'm back to working out now. Although I'd gone through physical therapy and started doing some light workouts at home--partly to get back into shape and build my strength, but also to feel a little bit "normal"--I didn't go back to my personal trainer until October, mostly because he needed emergency knee surgery, but also because I wasn't cleared to do all that much yet, which meant I wouldn't really get my money's worth from going to the trainer. 

I'm having some issues with my hips now, so I plan to see the hip doctor. My back surgeon gave me several cortisone shots for bursitis, but they didn't help the second time around. The hip issue makes it hard to sit at my desk for very long.  Since I have a desk job, that makes work difficult sometimes. It's a bit depressing to have fixed one problem and now be dealing with another. But at least my back is fixed, I guess!

Some days.                                                                Other days.

Cancer Scare

A couple months ago I had an abnormal mammogram for the first time in my life--I'm 46 so I admittedly haven't had all that many yet. It was very unexpected and I was beating myself up for being six months late, which was due to COVID and the back surgery recovery. The whole time I told my logical self that it's very likely nothing since breast cancer doesn't run in my family and if it IS something, it's very early and would be completely treatable.  But my emotional self was scared as hell that it would be something. I had another mammogram on that one breast along with an ultrasound and was then told it's very likely nothing, but I had a choice to come back in six months for another mammogram or have an MBI done, which stands for molecular breast imaging. It's like a cross between a mammogram and an MRI, along with an injection of a radio tracer. I went for the MBI for peace of mind, as I know people who either knew or suspected something was wrong an ignored it; were misdiagnosed and it was too late once they got a correct diagnosis; or were just completely blindsided because there were no symptoms. Although it was nerve-wracking, it turned out to be nothing! Now it's just a matter of checking up on it every six months.

Weight

We won't go there.  All I need to say about this is that I had two back surgeries during a pandemic and also had to deal with coming off opioid pain meds. I've got some work to do in the kitchen and out in the gym...

Finances

We were able to sell our old house right before the pandemic hit.  We'd we'd rented it out to various people when we moved six years ago.  That was a huge mistake, but thankfully we no longer have to worry about that house or anything else that goes along with it. The closing was about a week before my back surgery.  Now that we don't have another mortgage to worry about, we've been able to pay off some credit cards, though we still have a long ways to go.

Christmas

How does Christmas manage to come so fast every year? Especially this year. I thought for sure this year would drag by slowly, but it seems to have gone by faster than any other year. To me, at least.

As usual, we went to Old Sturbridge Village for their Christmas by Candlelight program. Given the pandemic, it was different this year. There were attendance restrictions and people were not able to go inside the buildings or get food samples, which is normally my favorite part, especially the mulled cider. Some exhibits were moved outside, while others were done inside, but the windows and/or doors were open so people could look in. Parts of the village that are normally closed for this program were open this year, like the Freeman Farm and the blacksmith shop, where we got to watch them making sleds. They also piped music throughout the village, which was a nice touch. We didn't spend as much time as we normally do since much of the time we spend there is usually inside the buildings, which were mostly off limits, but we still had a good time. We came home with goodies from the gift shop, like village-made tin lanterns and books about old houses, and a local antique store where I got more antique glass Christmas ornaments. Afterwards we went to a late dinner at the Oxhead Tavern.

Some of my "new" ornaments:

At Old Sturbridge Village:

We got two Christmas trees, just like we always do. There's a small tree farm about 20 minutes away and you can cut your own tree. Any tree, no matter how big, is just $30.00. I can get two trees for less than the cost of one from a local pre-cut tree lot (pre-cut trees usually start around $55-$60 and go up from there). One tree is decorated with C9 lights and antique glass ornaments, like the kind I had growing up. I think I now have enough antique ornaments to cover the tree without filling in spots with new ones, though I still put the plastic unbreakable ones on the bottom so the cats don't ruin anything. The other tree has the standard miniature lights and modern ornaments. This year we put that one in the living room and the one with the old fashioned decorations in the den near the fireplace. Given how small the den is we had to find a smaller tree. It fits well and we don't have to maneuver around it.

On Christmas Eve I burned the traditional bayberry candle, which is supposed to bring luck and good fortune to the house in the new year--let's hope 2021 is better than 2020! (The second one will be burned tonight.) Christmas day was a small affair--just me and my husband. It was his first Christmas off in several years, so we decided to stay home. Plus, you know, COVID. We opened gifts, relaxed, watched Christmas shows and movies, and played with the new Atari Flashback I bought for us.  I made a small prime rib, which I'll use the leftovers to make hash, along with mashed potatoes and carrots. It was a good, relaxing day.

I have no plans for tonight other than to make dinner--probably a cheddar BBQ meatloaf--, hang out with my husband and the cats, and maybe play some Atari Flashback. :)

Happy New Year, everyone! PLEASE let 2021 be better!! 

Apparently Bailey has had it with 2020.

Happy New Year!

Our tradition, which started a few years ago when I first discovered these candles at Old Sturbridge Village, is to burn a real bayberry candle down to the nub on both Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. Although it can be done on either night, I choose to burn one on both nights. Everyone can use a little extra good fortune, right? 

According to tradition:  "A bayberry candle burned to the socket puts luck in the home, food in the larder, and gold in the pocket."

2018 was a fairly quiet year, which is good--I needed a rest after 2017. No new kitties this year, and the only major event really was the announcement that the bank for which I work was acquired and I'd be losing my job this coming February. Not ideal, but I was beginning to feel that it was time to move on anyway. This just gave me the push I needed. In terms of my health, I fought a lot with chronic back pain and my eating is not what it should be, but I'm working out regularly and that is helping keep both the pain and my weight under control.

In 2019, the plan is to get the back pain under control, my eating back on track and to deal with a few things in my financial life. And to find a new job that makes me happy. 

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Bob and I recently went to Christmas by Candlelight at Old Sturbridge Village. It's something we do every year now that we're only an hour away. We're members of the Village so we get discounted tickets. We stayed at the Old Sturbridge Inn in the Oliver Wight House, which is a historic building with 10 rooms.

The Sugar Cookie, complete with a sugared rim and sprinkles.

Friday night was dinner at the Oxhead Tavern across the street. Since it was early and the diningroon was empty, they sat us in front of the fireplace. (I wish I'd taken a picture. It's a beautiful old--huge!--fireplace.) We each had the French Onion soup to start. Bob had the bacon-wrapped meatloaf and I had the Oxhead panini with fries, which is basically a Thanksgiving-themed panini with turkey, cranberry, sage and sausage stuffing and a side of gravy for dipping. Way too much food for me, of course, so most of my sandwich was packed up to take back to the room for later. I treated myself to one of their special Christmas drinks, the Sugar Cookie. I can't remember what was in it, but I was feeling good when we left! I was only able to drink half since alcohol hits me so hard. Bob took a couple pictures of me before and after the drink. In the "after" picture my face is flushed and I have a stupid grin on my face. Obviously, I'm a very light drinker these days, which was true even before the weight loss surgery. Bob had beer, as usual.

Bob and I at the Oxhead Tavern.

Below they're making soft gingerbread using the tin oven in the fireplace. I'd love to learn how to cook using our fireplace, but I just haven't made the time or effort to do it yet. I've made their gingerbread recipe in my own oven, though, and it's delicious. Very moist and dense. You really need to like gingerbread, though, as it's an acquired taste for some people.

As you can see from the recipe below, it makes a lot of gingerbread. If you don't have a lot of gingerbread-lovers, I suggest making half a recipe.

Making Christmas dinner

Here they're making Christmas dinner using a tin oven for baking and a rotisserie of sorts for the goose. The "rotisserie" is basically twine that spins over the fire. You truss up the goose and suspend it from a hook over the fire, then twist the twine. As it unwinds, it turns the goose. It amazes me how much time it must have taken to make a holiday meal in the 1800s. 

They're making mulled cider. This is my favorite part!

And here's my favorite part:  they're making the mulled cider. It's probably my favorite part because we get to sample the finished product. I've been trying to find a jug like the one they have on the table so I can make my own mulled cider in the fireplace, but I haven't found on yet that I like. I'd also need a mulling iron. 

The shoemaker

I love this candle holder. I'd like to do
the same in my house. 

As usual, we visited all the other exhibits, like the shoemaker, the tin shop, the general store and others, and sampled any food they had to offer. I like that they change it up a little each year. This year in the general store it was peppermints, they had Spanish shortbread cookies in another building (which I'll be making!), and roasted chestnuts in the Small House. I have to say, I don't like chestnuts at all. My mom loved them, which is why I tried them, but I didn't like the texture at all. We also sat and listened to a reading of How the Grinch Stole Christmas in the school house. The interpreter did a fantastic job and we really enjoyed it.

In front of the Christmas tree at the Bullard Tavern.

On our way out we visited the gift shop and I bought real bayberry candles. I buy them every year. If burned down to the nub on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, it is thought that it brings good luck for the following year. 

On to our Christmas trees. We put up two trees every year ever since we moved a few years ago. We have a historic house, which was built in 1735. We have a formal living room (it doesn't look formal, though), as well as a family room. Our picture window is in the living room, so we put a tree in front of it and decorate it with older-looking ornaments. The other tree goes in the family room since that's where we spend most of our time. 

This year we decided to start buying some of the older ornaments while we were in Sturbridge. As you can see, we got some nice ones. These are the ones I remember from childhood. They were inexpensive, too.  Typically 75 cents to $2.00 each. We bought about 10 of them. Here's the finished tree. The icicles you see hanging from the branches are handmade from Old Sturbridge Village.

Here are closeups of some of the ornaments we bought.

And here's our standard tree in the family room. We got a great deal on the trees this year:  $40.00 for both of them. One had been cut down and left in the field, so the nursery owners wanted it to be sold. We got it for $10.00, which is the one below.

And here are some kitty pictures. This one is Leia.

This is Max sleeping next to the living room tree. One would think he's the one that did all the work!

And here's Marty under the living room tree. 

Hope you all have a nice holiday and don't eat yourself into a coma! But wear the elastic-banded pants just in case.

happy thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Aside from that, this post is an excuse to show off my contributions to today's meal:  pie and brownies!

This pie is one I've never made before and I got the recipe from the Pillsbury website.  Here's the recipe:  Almond Macaroon Cherry Pie. The only thing I did differently is I made the pie crust from scratch. (Yes, I'm showing off just a bit...) I can't comment on the taste since it just came out of the oven and is screaming hot. Plus, it's not for my house anyway. But really, how can one go wrong with cherry pie? Not possible!

I also made brownies from scratch. It's not difficult at all and really not much more effort than using a box mix.  I use the King Arthur Flour recipe, which you can find here (the newer version):  Ultimate Chewy Brownies. It's pretty much a no-fail recipe and the brownies are truly chewy with a crackly crust and they're not super sweet, which is why I like this recipe so much. This time I added 1/4 tsp of espresso powder to boost the chocolate flavor. It's not necessary and I normally don't add that, but I have a new canister of espresso powder and figured I'd try it out. It was a definitely a good call! The brownies had an even deeper chocolate flavor than usual.

A note about the brownie recipe linked above:  This is not the recipe I downloaded years ago. KAF has changed it a bit from what it used to be. Below is the actual recipe I use. The difference is that the newer recipe calls for a 9x9 pan instead of 8x8, "baking cocoa" instead of "cocoa powder" (I checked and they are actually the same thing), and adds the optional espresso powder. Also, I DO NOT use Hershey's Cocoa Powder for these brownies. I'm a total snob when it comes to cocoa powder for baking purposes. I find that Hershey's gives this particular brownie a different texture and it's not quite as chewy. I typically use Aristocrat cocoa powder made by Wilbur Chocolate.  It's a highly alkalized dark cocoa power with 22%-24% fat. I can only find it in-person at a particular candy store in Lancaster, PA, so I stock up when I visit my cousin. (You'll see at the link that it's sold in a 50 lb. bag, which is a bit too much for my needs!)  But if you want to buy online in a normal, home cook quantity, I found it on Amazon (of course!).  I also have used natural cocoa powder interchangeably and it worked perfectly fine.

The recipe below is the exact recipe that I use from the KAF website . You can see at the bottom it's from 2002--ancient times!


      King Arthur Flour's Ultimate Chewy Brownies

        3/4 cup unsweetened natural cocoa powder
        1 stick margarine, melted and cooled
        1/4 cup vegetable oil
        2 cups granulated sugar
        1 cup King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
        3 eggs
        1 teaspoon vanilla (or coffee) extract

      Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Spread mixture in a
      greased 8 x 8-inch pan. Bake at 325°F for 35 to 40 minutes. Remove pan
      from oven and cool for at least 3 to 4 hours, or overnight, before cutting
      and serving.

      Copyright 2002, The King Arthur Flour Company. All rights reserved. KingArthurFlour.com

homemade goodies, family and lots of snow

Emily enjoying the Christmas tree. Or plotting. Not sure which.

(I give up on trying to format this post to get things in the right spot. It is what it is. LOL)

I've been so bad about blogging lately. Something I said I'd do in the new year is to get better at posting more often. I guess it's better late than never!  The last couple weeks have been pretty busy, both at work and home. Mainly because of the holidays. Lots of cleaning, shopping, preparing, etc., as well as a new project at work, time off among team members and so on.

Last weekend we had our annual family Christmas get-together.  It was a bit smaller this year without my father and brother, plus some people couldn't make it, but it was a good time as usual. We had so much food left over! We had ham, lasagna, crock pot bourbon meatballs, potatoes, pasta salad, carrots, etc. We really didn't need that much food, but that's how it always plays out at the holidays, right?

The family room tree. 

Here are a few things I made last weekend for the get-together (sorry, forgot to take pictures):

• Homemade onion dip:  I've made this before and I love it. People still tend to favor the salty store-bought dip, but that's OK. 
• Shortbread:  I made this for the first time and it was so delicious! Crispy, light and so, so buttery.
• Rum Balls:  Another first for me. The recipe was super easy and made a lot, so this was a win for me. BUT....they are very potent. The recipe uses a combination of rum and bourbon, along with vanilla wafers, honey and pecans. They're supposed to mellow out in the fridge, but they really didn't mellow all that much over the course of a week. Very yummy, though.
• Chocolate Pie:  I've made this several times and it's always a winner. Very, very rich and chocolaty. And my pie crust came out perfect:  very crispy and flaky. Instead of hand-mixing the ingredients I used the food processor. It's so much easier and I think it comes out better since there's really no risk of overworking the dough.

Above is the family room Christmas tree. This is where we put the bigger tree since it's a bigger room. I also reserve this tree for all the modern lights and ornaments. Below is the living room tree. This is always the smaller one, and this is where we use the old-fashioned C9 lights, as well as the ornaments that have a more traditional look. We always get two because we use the family room the most, but we like having a tree that can be seen from the street. Since we normally go cut them down, the cost isn't much at all. This year, however, we had to buy from a lot since the timing just didn't work out right. As you can see, they look nearly perfect. I prefer a tree that looks more natural--fat with uneven limbs--but they're still really nice. This year I skipped using tree skirts. Mainly because I get tired of constantly fixing them--the cats love to lay on them or play under the tree, so they tend to make a mess of the them.

Living room tree. 

We had a white Christmas this year, which was really nice. There wasn't all that much snow, but it was just the right amount. Last weekend, however, we got about a foot and it was officially a blizzard. Oh, and the temperatures were BELOW ZERO! We had the wood stove and fireplace going the whole time since our house is old and drafty. We burned a ton of wood! (And today? The snow is all gone because it was 60 F and pouring rain all day yesterday, and now the yard is flooded.)

And now that it's all over, it's time to clean the leftovers out of the fridge. I really don't think I could look at another piece of ham. let alone eat one. Lasagna went into the freezer, along with the leftover kielbasa. The rest of it is getting tossed; there are only so many leftover potatoes two people can eat. Actually one person, because I haven't had any of them.

All the decorations are down; however, I can't claim they've been put away in the attic. They're sitting either in the hutch, ready to be brought upstairs, or they're upstairs and waiting to be put into boxes. I really want to go through all the boxes and toss whatever is broken or doesn't work, and maybe donate anything I don't want anymore. I know, I say that every single year and I've done it maybe once. Maybe this is the year?

I'll be posting an update about my back pain very soon. It's an ongoing battle, but I think there could be light at the end of the tunnel finally.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, everyone!

I was going to write a nice post, reflecting on the past year, but I just don't feel like it. Maybe that should be a New Year's resolution:  get better at blogging more often. Or at least putting more effort into some things. Actually, I'm serious when I say I want to get better at blogging more often. I also want to resume cooking one recipe a week from my cookbooks. I started it last year, but life got in the way.

Anyway, tonight I'm busy making rum balls for my upcoming family Christmas get-together. These things are literally 90 proof! The recipe says they need to mellow out in the fridge for a few days. I agree, as they are quite strong at the moment.

I'm also burning a real bayberry candle. The folklore goes that if you burn a bayberry candle on either Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve (or both), it will bring you good luck, health and prosperity in the new year. Hopefully that's true, as 2018 really needs to be better than 2017. It was a mixed bag, but definitely more bad than good. This year brought lots of loss, both expected and unexpected; sickness, although nothing grave; fulfillment of a longtime goal (tummy tuck); and new little ones (kittens, not kids!) in the house.

Here's to hoping that 2018 holds more of the good things!

update #4: the war on back pain (and some fun mixed in)

Yes, another update!  I had my cortisone shots last Thursday, finally.

I was busy this past weekend attending the Christmas by Candlelight program at Old Sturbridge Village in Massachusetts, so I didn't get a chance to post. Plus, I wanted to wait a few days before posting so I can figure out if they're working or not. And, of course, I've been busy getting ready for Christmas. So hectic!

Here are some pictures from Christmas by Candlelight. Most pictures are a bit dark, but that's because they're mostly lit by candlelight. 😉

I love how this room looks, but I'm sure the cats would destroy it! Actually, if I wanted to be historically accurate at Christmastime, there wouldn't be any Christmas decorations in my house. Well, not like the ones above, anyway, which are representative of the 19th century. At the time my house was built, 1735 (18th century), they didn't decorate like above. If you want to read about it, go here.  

This is the Village green. Not quite dark yet, but it's pretty. It was so nice to be there when there was snow on the ground. It made it feel a lot more like Christmas in New England.

These trees are so pretty and look like they would be a real space-saver! And I want that flooring! Actually, we do have that flooring underneath all the cheap carpeting the sellers installed, which is on top of 1920s hardwood, which is on top pf wide-plank flooring like above. Someday we will tear away the layers to reveal the original flooring.

We put white pine garland on our front door this year. It was inspired by this house in the village. It looks so nice and is more historically accurate.

This is my favorite part of the event:  mulled cider made in the hearth. So delicious!! So much sugar, though! I have to sip slowly, even though the cup is small. I bought the spices to make the cider, and I have the Sturbridge Village recipe, so I'm going to try it when the family comes down in January for our annual Christmas get-together. It will be sad to not have my dad and my brother there, but they will be there in spirit. And since my house is so old, they may literally be there in spirit!

Anyway, on to the cortisone shots...

So far I would say they're working somewhat. I'm not feeling total relief; however, I'm not waking up during the night or in the morning with pain, which is really nice.  And that's probably the most important thing to me at the moment. (There's nothing like starting off your day at 3 am already in pain, and then tossing and turning for a few hours until it's time to get up.) I still have pain when I sit or stand too long, but I'm guessing that will improve with time as the annular tear heals.

I'm sure some people want to know if the shots hurt.  Cortisone shots burn, and everyone has a different pain tolerance. Mine is somewhere around low to medium. I'd say the shots were a little uncomfortable, but it was over quickly. The whole procedure took about five minutes. I had two shots, both of which were to the left of my spine, in the lumbar area. Here's how it went:

• I waited in the exam room for the doctor to come and get me. I didn't need to change out of my clothes or anything.  While I was waiting, I heard a man yelling. Not continuously. At first I thought he was yelling. Maybe he had a broken bone and was having it set or something. Then I heard some shorter yells. I then figured maybe he was sneezing or coughing, since some people sound as though they're yelling when they do that. But then I realized that, yes, he was actually yelling. In pain. I then started to get even more nervous and was freaking out a bit, wondering if the yelling was coming from the room I was going into. Yup, turns out it was.
• Doctor opened the door to call me into the procedure room and...he was wearing a big blue lead apron, goggles and gloves (they use flouroscopy--live xray--to help guide the needle). And he's bald. All I could think of was a villain in an action movie. I asked him if the yelling was coming from the room I was going into and he said yes. Wonderful.
• I laid face-down on the table with my arms hanging down towards the floor. I didn't move a muscle, since I knew the needle would be close to, if not in, my spine. I definitely had it in the back of my mind that if the needle went somewhere it shouldn't, I could be paralyzed. Maybe that's irrational, but I worried about in nonetheless. 
• The doctor applied iodine and then gave me four shots of Novocaine in the area where the catheters would be inserted to administer the cortisone. It stung, but that's normal. Next he inserted two catheters:  one next to each affected disc.  Insertion of the catheters wasn't painful. Maybe a little uncomfortable, but not pain. I thought the shots would go directly into a disc or the spine, but I guess they go in from the side. I just wanted to get it over with so I didn't ask.
• Then he administered the cortisone. He told me I'd feel some pressure and maybe a burning sensation. Umm...yes. It wasn't truly pain, but it was definitely discomfort. I felt the lower shot more and I felt the cortisone rushing through the muscles in my left butt cheek and down the back of my upper thigh. It didn't last long, but I was glad it was over. The second shot above it wasn't as uncomfortable.
• And then it was over! He removed the catheters, put some bandages on and that was it. I got up and went back to the exam room to get my post-procedure instructions, which were to wait until the following day to shower, no strenuous activity for 48 hours, and schedule a follow-up in two weeks.

I go back for a follow-up with the doctor next week. I have the option of having the shots again, although I don't know the time frame for that. Also, my HSA account is wiped out at the moment due to having to pay for my MRI, my husband's MRI, both our physical therapy sessions, and other medical expenses. It's my first year in the plan so I didn't have much built up when all this came about. I'm thinking if I need another round of shots I will wait a few months.

I wish I could say the shots worked and I feel fabulous. But at least I do have some relief. The fact that I don't have pain in bed is enough for me right now.

Stay tuned!