my first trip to Washington, DC

Oh boy--it's been more than two months since I last posted! I've had some things going on and really haven't felt like writing. But I'll get back into it by posting about my business trip I took in October. 

I'm lucky enough in my particular job role that each year I get to go on a business trip. It's an annual conference for a software company my employer uses and it's typically in a good location, such as California. This year it was in Washington, DC. I was really excited about it since I'd never been there. My husband hadn't either, and he loves history, so it was a perfect vacation spot for him. (My boss was shocked to learn I'd never been to DC. I'm not sure why that's so shocking, but it was to her. I guess because she goes there often with her family and they all love it there.)

We decided to tack on about three days of vacation, which were prior to the conference days. Since I had only that time to see everything I wanted to see before having to spend two and half days at the conference, I made a list of my must-see attractions. We made it to most of them. Unfortunately, I missed out on seeing the Holocaust Museum. In order to see it I would have had to go on the last day of the conference, which was a half-day; however, I'd forgotten it was Yom Kippur and it was closed. I still made it to the Bureau of Engraving and the Library of Congress, though.

This is what I saw while I was there:

• Bureau of Engraving and Printing. I’m a banker, so seeing money being printed was exciting to me. It amazed me that one small pallet of $20.00 notes was $6.4 million, and there were SEVEN pallets in one little space! And yes, the place smelled like money!

• Lincoln Memorial. I saw this at night on the Monuments by Moonlight tour (we also stopped at the MLK Jr. Memorial and the Iwo Jima Marine Corps Memorial), which we did on the second night we were there. It was SO worth it! It was beautiful. Someone was having their wedding pictures taken while we were there. I loved standing on the steps and looking out onto the reflecting pool and then Washington Monument beyond that. And yes, there were A LOT of steps!

MLK Jr. Memorial

Iwo Jima US Marine Corps Memorial

The Capitol building at night.

View from the Lincoln Memorial on the Monuments by Moonlight tour. 

Lincoln Memorial at night.

• Arlington Cemetery, Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, and Women in Military Service for America building (very well done). We stayed for the changing of the guard. There were two wreath-layings at the Tomb. They played Taps each time. My husband is former Army so he was quite moved by it, as were most people.

Kennedy's grave site

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

• Air and Space Museum. I LOVED this! So interesting. The Hubble telescope was on display, so that was quite interesting to see. Definitely not as big as I thought it would be. I wish we could have spent more time here, but we got there about an hour and half before it closed. Also, they were renovating so several sections were closed.
• American History Museum. Lots of interesting stuff here. I wasn't able to see all of it; there was just so much to see (three floors!) and I didn't have enough time.
• National Archives. Here I saw the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, among other things. 
• United States Botanic Garden.  Here we saw lots of different plants and flowers.  Very warm and humid inside!

• Library of Congress. This was probably my favorite. The architecture is absolutely beautiful! We got library cards just so we could go into the main reading room (yes, I'm a geek). I love books and it’s kind of cool to say I got to browse the shelves of the Library of Congress. I also enjoyed seeing Thomas Jefferson’s library. I saw one book there that was published in 1571!

While out and about we also saw the WWI Memorial and Washington Monument, among other things.

As far as food goes, we didn’t get much beyond the hotel and the National Mall area. My husband is a very plain eater, so we stuck with things he would like. Plus, even though the company paid for most of it, food was expensive. We hit a few food trucks and the food was really good. We went to the Hard Rock Cafe once. We also had a rib eye steak on our last night since it was still part of my business trip and the company paid. :)

Getting around DC was easier than I thought it would be. We got a three-day Metro pass and hopped on and off the train as needed. Only once did we get on in the wrong direction. :) On the second day I finally figured out that in order to know which train to take and which direction to go, we had to look at the last stop on the line, not the stop where we want to get off. Once I figured that out we had no more issues determining direction. (Taking the train isn’t a daily thing in CT unless you commute along the shoreline/to NY or through the middle of the state, so I don’t have much train experience.)

We took Amtrak (Acela train) and that was a pleasant experience. It was a little annoying, though, how many people took up two seats on purpose, which meant it was hard to find two seats together on our way there. Once we got to NY the conductor made announcements that people cannot take up two seats since it was a nearly-full train. Oh, and there were MANY announcements for people to check their tickets and make sure they’re on the right train. Apparently there’s an express train and then another Acela train. Guess what? At least one person got on the wrong train going to DC, and at least four different people got on the wrong train coming home! One huge difference between taking the train and flying was that once you get to the train station, you just get on the train. No checking bags, going through security, etc. Also, lots of leg room!

So, we had a great time. I'd really like to go back again, though, so I can see more. I felt rushed since I only had a few days to see what I wanted to see and had to skip some things.

life lately

It's been a few months since I've done one of these posts, so I guess it's time. (I've also been sitting on this post for two months, editing here and there, so time to finally post it.)

Family

Unfortunately my in-laws' house burned down last month.   Thankfully everyone, including the dog, got out in time, so no one was hurt.  I can't even imagine how it feels to lose the house you've been living in for most of your life, as well as nearly all your belongings. Family pictures, memorabilia, clothing, appliances, everything.

So, they're having to live in a hotel until they can move into my old house. (Luckily the insurance company found a hotel that will take the dog.) That will happen the first week of October. It's going to take about six to nine months to rehab the house, so they'll likely be in our old house until Spring. Once they leave, that house is being sold come Hell or high water! Although, they've talked about selling their house once it's completed and buying ours. That would be absolutely fabulous and I pray it happens. That house needs to go!

My niece, Ashley, is getting married next month. I can't believe another one is getting married. I feel old!! It seems like only yesterday my sister was pregnant with her. In fact, she was pregnant with her when I got married! I was married February 10, 1996, and Ashley was born on February 27. I wish her all the love and luck in the world!

Back Pain

I still have back pain, and it's gotten worse.

Although the nerve ablation I had in January for the facet joints helped a lot, it doesn't help the sciatica I get from the bulging discs, and that's what's still bothering me. Also, the ablation has worn off. I was told the pain relief could last anywhere from six months to two years. I'd say it lasted about six months, then started creeping back again.

My back started hurting more somewhere around June, though it was mostly while working. I have a desk job and a majority of my job requires me to actually be at my desk. Even though I have a sit/stand desk and a decent chair, and I try to switch positions at least once per hour, it's not enough. If I stand for more than 10-15 minutes, the bulging disc starts pressing on my sciatic nerve and it's time to sit down. Then my lower back starts hurting after about 20 minutes and I need to either stand up to work or go walk around a bit.  Then the leg pain kicks in. So, I finally figured out that I need to take Percocet at work, as my back pain is at it's worst when I'm working. I asked for a refillable prescription about three months ago, and I'm SO thankful I've had that, as it's helped me stay focused on my work and not on the back pain.  I also finally connected the dots about the ablation having worn off when I started having sleeping problems again, which was about a month ago. The Percocet has also helped me to sleep longer. By "longer" I mean that instead of waking up a midnight or 1:00 am with back pain, I can sleep until about 4:00/4:30 am. Then I start the tossing and turning and am generally in pain. Prior to the ablation wearing off, it wasn't this bad.

So, I'm going next Monday to have another ablation. I'll get the right side done that day, and then the following week the other side. Hopefully that will get me through my upcoming business trip--a five hour train ride--and carry me into Spring, which is when I'll make a decision about fusion. I could continue to take Percocet and have ablations, but why cover up the problem? I'd rather just fix it.

Elbow Pain

I'm also dealing with really bad tendinitis in my left elbow, which is also now in my right elbow, too. I've been dealing with this since February. I went to physical therapy, but that didn't help. It also aggravated the pulled bicep muscle from a few months ago. I had a cortisone shot, and that didn't help either. Apparently the solution was water-soluble, which may be why it didn't work. I'm going to make an appointment to get more shots next week, this time with a non-water-soluble solution, and hopefully that solves the problem.

Work

I've been in my new job for about six months now and I like it. It was tough at first, since I hadn't wanted to go back to a bank at all and definitely not in the same capacity; I didn't want to job search (previous bank was sold); and I was walking into a tough situation. Thankfully that situation resolved itself, so things are looking up. I really like my team--they're awesome!--; I love my boss; and I like the people and culture. Onward and upward!

life lately

I haven't done one of these posts in a while, so I guess it's time. Actually, it's time for ANY post. I'm getting worse with posting. I often just don't feel like writing anymore.  Anyway...

Back Pain

This has improved. Last time I posted I had just had radio frequency ablation on the left side of my lumbar spine. I saw some good pain relief. I had the right side done a few weeks ago, and that went well, too. I haven't seen quite as much improvement on that side; however, I'm told that it can take up to six weeks to feel the full effects of the ablation.

I will say that other areas are bothering me at the moment, such as the sciatic nerves on both sides, as well as my elbows and one knee. That said, I'm in between jobs at the moment--even though I'm working out consistently, I'm doing WAY more sitting around than I did when I was working at a desk all day. I'm confident that once I go back to work next week, things will improve.

Work

I mentioned in my last post that I'm starting a new job soon. That's because the bank I worked for was sold to another bank and I didn't get a job offer from the acquiring bank. No big deal. I really didn't want to work for that bank, or commute that far, anyway. I do have another job lined up at another bank, which starts next week.

Everyone asks me, "Are you excited about the new job?" Hmm. I'm not sure, really. I wouldn't really say I'm "excited" the way I would be if I was willingly leaving my last job for greener pastures. I mean, I'm glad I got another job quickly so I won't have to worry about being able to pay my bills; however, I didn't move on to another job by choice. Also, I didn't really want to go back into a bank. Instead, I wanted to work for a vendor that has banks as its clients, but that didn't pan out. I guess I could say the part I'm "excited" about is that one of my responsibilities is to affect change within the department. Not in terms of people, but in terms of policy and procedure. I like trying to figure out those types of things. I think it will be challenging, which is something I can be excited about.

Oh, and I took and passed a certification exam for my area of expertise. The picture up top is of Tiffany. She was "helping" me study, as were these clowns, Arlo and Emily.

Diet and Exercise

This is a mixed bag, as always. While my workouts are on point--five days a week without fail--my eating is...not.  Still. My last job ended very recently and I told myself I'd use the little time I have in between jobs to get my diet straightened out. Guess what?  I didn't. I've probably been eating worse than usual since my days now have no routine at all, other than going to the gym or the occasional errand. I'm looking forward to going back to work next week, if only to get myself back into a routine and away from the kitchen.

During my time off I've been using the gym in town, which is only $10.00 per month--can't beat that! I could do most of my workout at home and improvise the exercises that require a machine, but I chose to go to the gym so I at least get myself out of the house for a couple hours each day. Plus I have a membership so I might as well use it!

My trainer uses the same gym and I've run into him several times. We talk for a few minutes and then go our separate ways usually. A couple times, though, he used it as an opportunity to say, "Here, let's try this machine!" Which is fine because it gave me another thing to incorporate when I get bored of doing the same thing. But it's a new exercise I haven't done before, which means I'm SORE the next two days and that runs right into my next session with him and he decides to work those same muscles. Of course he does! Very sore!!  I have to say, though, I really enjoyed seeing him work as hard as he makes me work. He was sweating and sometimes struggling just as much, which was really satisfying!

One thing I'm not thrilled about at the new job is that they don't have an in-house gym. I know I was quite lucky that my last company had one and it was literally about 20 feet from my office, but it still stinks. I used that gym four days per week. I would go in there at 4 pm, do my workout, and then go home for the day. And it had all the equipment I needed. I know I could just go to the regular gym, but I really hate having to go after work when there's four times as many people and they all want the same machines. There's a gym down the road from work, but I'd have the same issue there. For the time being I plan to do my workout in the house. Once it warms up, I can go outside on the patio.

Wrap-Up

I'll wrap this post up by saying that I'm really disappointed in myself that I didn't do more with my time off. I thought that having free time would make me want to do All The Things, including writing more blog posts and just doing some writing in general. Nope. It made me not want to do Any Of The Things. Well, I accomplished a few things, but definitely not as much as I'd hoped. But I think things will get back to normal once I'm back at work. Let's hope!

life lately

Time for another update on life since I couldn't come up with anything interesting to post about.  I lasted posted a life update in July.

Cats

Leia had to go to the vet this week. She started showing signs of a urinary tract infection:  frequent litter box usage, only peeing a little each time, taking a long time in the box, licking. I brought her in and it turns out it's not a UTI. They think it's stress-related, but took a urine culture just in case. She has to have prescription food for awhile and we'll see how that goes. They're a little concerned because the original sample, the one they tested for infection, shows that her urine is a bit diluted. I'm hoping they don't say she has kidney disease. They gave her subcutaneous fluids and sent her home with pain medication. She stayed in the bedroom for awhile so I could monitor her litter box usage (with 11 cats, it's difficult to know who's doing what and when). She seems to be doing fine now. I haven't yet received the results of the culture, so I'm hoping nothing else comes up.

Car

Someone hit the back of my car in a parking lot and took off. I've had the car for less than a year, so I'm pretty annoyed. There goes my deductible! Since the paint is damaged, I had to fix it so it doesn't rust or get worse.  I don't understand why people do things like that. I'm guessing they know they won't get caught and are counting on the fact that it won't be noticed right away. And they're probably uninsured, unlicensed, or both. Anyway, it's fixed now. I guess the one bright spot is that the body shop washed my car, completely detailed the inside, and inflated my tires, which were a little low.

House

We're currently in the middle of putting down a vinyl plank floor in the family room. It wasn't planned. We just decided that since we had gotten rid of the couch and hadn't yet replaced it, why don't we tear up the (very) disgusting carpet and put down either laminate or vinyl?  So we ripped it up and, yes, it was really gross. I mean, I've got 11 cats and it's also a high-traffic area of the house. Bob has been working on laying the new floor down this week, but we'll probably spend part of the weekend finishing it up.

The hard part is working around the hatch in the floor, which is for the well. Yes, our well is under the family room. Our house was built in 1735 and the well was outside at that point. At some point in the early 1900s (we think), the family room was added. Rather than connect to the city water, the home owner decided to build an enclosure around the well and put a hatch in the floor so it can be accessed. Brilliant...not! Sure, it's cool to look at, but it's going to be REALLY expensive when the time comes to replace the well pump.

Here's the hatch in the floor.

And here's the well. Pretty amazing, isn't it? It's hard to believe this was dug almost 300 years ago with hand tools, and it's perfectly round. You can see how far down the water is. 

Back Pain

Last time I updated I mentioned that I wasn't doing anything else for awhile since I'd reached the limit of epidural cortisone shots I could have  in nine months. Now that summer is over, I've scheduled an appointment to see about getting them again. Even though they didn't last more than three weeks each time previously, it was still a great help when it came to sleeping.

Sleeping seems to be the biggest problem for me, mainly because, well, I need to sleep. When I'm sore from sitting (and sitting is the thing that causes most of the pain), I can just get up from my desk, the couch, whatever and walk around for awhile. I can't do that when I'm sleeping. I mean I could, but then it would take me awhile to fall back asleep and I'll end up more tired the next day. My standard practice at the moment is to take half a Tylenol PM and either one or two regular Tylenol at bedtime. I substitute half a Percocet for the Tylenol PM if I really need it, but I try not to do that since I sometimes feel hungover the next day. I'm getting really tired of taking pain medication every single night, so I'm thinking it's time to do the shots again, even if I only get limited relief. I'm also worried about my liver with all the acetaminophen, even though I take about half the daily maximum dosage. 

I'm trying to put off surgery until I get to the point where the pain stops me from doing certain things, like working out. I'm not at that point yet, though that could happen in the next year or two. 

Work

I mentioned in my last "life lately" post that my company was acquired. I've since learned that my job will end towards the end of February, so that means another job search. I'm actually not upset that I didn't get an offer from the acquiring company; I know many people that have worked there, and there's a reason they left.

It's a little too early to start searching, but I look everyday just to see what's out there...and there's not much. I'm thinking I may want to change industries, as I've been in the same one for 22 years, but that could mean a pay cut that I really can't afford right now. Lots of people have been telling me to "think outside the box" and that sounds good right about now. I'm someone who needs change, so going into another industry could be the shot of excitement I need, career-wise. It's scary, but exciting at the same time to think I could be doing something quite different this time next year.

life lately

Figured it's time for an update-type post, since it's been a while. (Actually it's been awhile since my last post, in general.)

Books

I had a different post planned for this; however, I'm writing it up separately, as it's turning out to be much longer than I had originally planned. Here's the teaser:  I recently met my favorite authors!

What I'll write here instead is that I've recently discovered Good Reads. Yes, I know, it's been around for a long time, but I just recently discovered the value in it:  I can actually keep track of the books I've read. I know, that's not exactly groundbreaking, but it's so useful!  I've read so many books over the years that I'm at a point where I can't remember if I've read a book or not. Quite often lately I've downloaded a book, only to discover I've already read it (my memory sucks, so I don't always realize I've read something just by the synopsis).

I use several methods for getting books: 

• Kindle app for Android:  I've abandoned hard-copy books forever, and I read exclusively on my phone. This is my app of choice for reading. Although I buy books from Amazon sometimes, I always check the library and Kindle Unlimited first; books aren't cheap! 
• Kindle Unlimited:  It's $9.99 a month and you can read as many books as you like. I'll admit this isn't my favorite option since most of the authors I like don't have titles here; however, I've found that it's a great way to discover new authors and it only costs me the monthly fee. If I decide I don't like a book I've downloaded, I just "return" it and find something else.
• Overdrive:  This is an app for my phone, which allows me to borrow ebooks from any libraries for which I have a library card. I can usually find a lot of the books I want to read, but it's definitely hit or miss, just like Kindle Unlimited.

I'd joined Good Reads a couple years ago, but really didn't do anything with it. I'd added some friends and see emails coming in from time to time, telling me that Jane recommended I read this book, or John has finished reading that book. I just took a quick glance at the emails and deleted them. Recently, however, I discovered that I could mark all the books I've read as "read," tag books I want to read, and keep track of my reading progress on current books. What's nice, too, are the book recommendation from friends--I've found a few gems this way.

Over the last several weeks I've made an effort to add all the books I've read, which wasn't easy since some I'd read through Overdrive, some through the Kindle app, and some in hard-copy format (I was the geek that carried around The Stand by Stephen King, which was 1,200+ pages and hardcover, during my junior year of high school...in addition to all my books and notebooks). The ones on Kindle were easy, since I could check my order history, or they'd somehow been linked to Good Reads--not sure what magic made that possible. Overdrive wasn't that difficult, either, since I could check my history there, too. But remembering all the hard-copies I've read was tough. In the end my list of "read" books is at 109 right now, but I'm sure I missed some.

Here's a screen shot of my "read" page.

As for what I'm reading, I'm currently reading The Fallen by David Baldacci. It's part of the Memory Man series. The protagonist is a man, Amos Decker, who played pro football, but took a major hit to the head during his first pro game. It resulted in two conditions:  Synesthesia (linking objects with sensory perception, such as seeing the number 4 as the color brown) and hypertymesia (basically, a perfect autobiographical memory). I'm about halfway through and I'm enjoying it. (This author was a recommendation from my late brother--he had great taste in books!)

I've also a number of books to my "want to read" list. Thanks to some suggestions from a blog I read, the list is growing. I've added a bunch of pandemic/apocalypse-type books, which is my current obsession. I also like genres like thriller, murder mystery, horror (along the lines of Stephen King), suspense, books with a small sci-fi or paranormal element (although not full-on sci-fi or paranormal), FBI/CIA/Secret Service thrillers, and other similar genres. I like the classics, too. I'm not really a fan of non-fiction, as I really like to just get lost in a book:  I don't analyze it--I just read it. Romance, fantasy and sci-fi aren't much to my taste, either.

If anyone has recommendations for me, please comment below. (Bonus points for books that take place in the 1800s or earlier! Extra bonus points if there are more than 800 pages--I love a huge book!)

Here's a shot of my "want to read" list.

Cats

Four of my kitties are at the vet today for their annual checkup and vaccinations. Lucky for me it's the youngest ones (Marty, Leia, Arlo and Emily), which means the bill shouldn't be big due to unexpected issues. Most of my cats are older, so more often than not I'm told that something is off in their blood work, or someone is losing weight, or has some other issue. Dental issues are the most common, and those can be really expensive. I'm hoping this visit will be relatively inexpensive and uneventful. I'm bringing all four of them at once and "parking" them for the day. My vet calls it "cat parking" and that just means I drop them in the morning and they get seen at some point during the day, then I pick them up at night. Luckily it's been uneventful this year with the cats.

Marty

Leia

Emily

Arlo

As you can see. Emily and Arlo are siblings and look like twins. The only way to tell them apart is Arlo has some white on his belly and Emily's tail is bent at the tip--not really something you can tell when they're running around, so I often confuse them.

Back Pain

Well, it is what it is. I had my last round of cortisone injections a couple months ago and it took about three weeks for them to wear off. I have the option of going towards the end of summer, but I'm going to wait and see how I feel. For the amount of money it costs (after insurance) and the amount of time they last, it's not worth it right now. I'm managing, just like I have been for almost a year now. I take a half a Percocet at night when I really need something more than acetaminophen. I feel the worst when I'm sitting, but I just try to get up more often. I feel best when I'm working out, which is a good thing. If I couldn't work out I'd likely regain a lot of weight. There are some exercises I can't/shouldn't do, but I still get a really good workout.

Nutrition and Working Out

I'm doing...OK...with my nutrition. I wish I was doing better, but I'm trying. I've started logging my food again, which is really important. I will show it to my trainer each week, which will make me stay on track. I really don't want to show him a journal that lists a bunch of junk food!

My trainer seems to be upping my workouts lately. The last two weeks he's introduced new exercises, which has made my workouts more tiring. But that's a good thing! He added some squats with a dumbbell press (two 10lb dumbbells), lunging while holding a 10lb dumbbell over my head (that was a load of fun...), and a couple other things. I like it, though, because it reinvigorates me--I get tired of the same routine.

Work

UGH. I wish I had something good to say here. Actually, I wish I wasn't even including it here, but it's part of "life lately." I found out recently that my company is being acquired, and I'm not happy about it at all. I've been there for almost four years and I'm happy there.  The culture is great:  fairly relaxed (for a bank), business casual dress, no slackers, great work/life balance, and lots of extracurricular activities. My boss leaves me alone to do my work and treats me like an adult. I can pretty much come and go as I please, and have the option to work from home if I need to for whatever reason. Benefits are great. I have an awesome team that just magically does what they're supposed to do and does it right. We also have a gym, which is only two doors down from my office. This is what I'll probably miss the most, actually. I typically get to work by 7:30 am, I eat my lunch at my desk, disappear into the gym around 4 pm, and then go home when I'm done. I find that having the gym right there is what keeps me consistently working out. It's really going to be tough losing that.

That week was tough and sad. I was thrown into a state of uncertainty, which I really have a hard time with. I actually like a lot of change, as that's what keeps things fresh and challenging, and it's how you grow and learn. What I don't like is not knowing what's going to happen next. Everything is up in the air at the moment. I have no idea yet as to whether I'll get a job offer from the new bank. If I do, it's very likely that job will be almost an hour away since that's where their operations center is.  I've done that commute and I truly don't want to do it again. It's very possible I won't get an offer, though, which means another job search. If I don't get an offer, will I get a good severance package? I'll also need to figure out what I want to do. Do I want to go for the same job I have now? Something similar, but somewhat different? What are my deal-breakers and must-haves? I'm hoping we know something soon, as being in limbo really sucks.

Well, there you have it. This is what's been going on lately. Happy 4th of July, everyone!

This is not one of my cats. I found this online at
http://fortheloveofcatsfl.com.

today's lunch

Today's lunch is leftovers from yesterday's catered lunch at work. 

They had caterers come in and the executives had to serve us. It was pretty cool to see them all dressed in aprons and welding serving spoons.  They served roast beef, huge shrimp and cocktail sauce, stuffed shells, Caesar salad, green beans, roasted potatoes and carrots,  potato pancakes, rolls, dessert, fruit and chicken Francese.  I took a sample of everything except the shells and the beans. No dessert, either. Everything was delicious.As usual I took enough for three meals.  I find I still eat with my eyes. Although I know how much I can comfortably eat,  I tend to load my plate still.

I was lucky to be in the cafeteria today when they were putting out the leftovers.  I quickly grabbed some shrimp and some fruit. I made sure to tell my team right away so they could get some before all the vultures descended. It was funny to see people walking very quickly in an attempt to get to the shrimp before everyone else. There's something about office food that attracts people like nothing else.

a new start this week

Tomorrow starts a new chapter in my career.  I'm excited to start the new job, but at the same time I worry that I won't like it.  It's not like me to be unsure of myself.  I normally just make up my mind and go without looking back.  I think the fact that I chose the wrong job earlier this year really shook my confidence and made me doubt my judgment; I was convinced it was the job I wanted.  Two weeks into the job, I realized it was NOT what I wanted and have spent the last ten months trying to get out.  I'm very hopeful and somewhat confident that it will be just what I've been looking for:  I'm back in Management, I don't have to punch a time clock, my boss seems laid back, and the company seems very employee-focused.

So, this weekend I'm preparing for the week to come:  I'm making sure all my laundry is done, I went shopping and bought some food for breakfasts and lunches, I made some sausage and goat cheese egg cups, and I made sure all my new hire paperwork is ready to go for tomorrow.

I'm working three days this week and then I'm off for three days (I got them to include the time off in my offer letter).  Later this week I'll be visiting my cousin in Pennsylvania.  The plan is to see an a cappella show, do some Christmas shopping, have a pajama day, and watch some movies.  I also plan to write out my Christmas cards and watch the Def Leppard Viva!  Hysteria DVD I bought last year and still haven't watched.  I also want to visit the big candy store (for baking supplies, not for candy!) and Kitchen Kettle Village, if I can fit it in.  Oh, and I want to visit a friend of mine, too.

It's going to be a busy week!

the week in review

I've had quite the week.

Although I haven't reached 100 lbs lost, I made it below 250 today!  I'm very close to my next milestone, though.  I went through my closet and tote boxes last night in order to find something that actually fit.  I found some denim capris that I bought a couple years ago and never wore.  Now they fit!  And I didn't look old and frumpy last night when I went out, which was nice.

I reported earlier last week that we put in a bid on a house.  The sellers countered, then we countered again. We found out late Wednesday night we won the bid.  So happy!  We just love the property and the amount of space in the house.  Next on the to-do list is the inspection, which will happen this week.  As long as nothing really big is found, looks like we'll be moving in a couple months.  Our contract says we have to close by June 30.  I keep saying that I'm going to start going through my cabinets, but somehow I always find something better to do.  Guess I'll need to buckle down very soon.

I also reported earlier last week that I got a sign that not all hope is lost of getting into the right job.  Nothing has changed with respect to that, but I had a talk with my boss this week about the whole situation.  I told her how I'm feeling and that I took the wrong job.  She was very professional about it.  She is trying to incorporate more things I like to do in order to make me like the job more, but I pretty much know that this job isn't for me.  It may have been right a few years ago, but I just don't want to do this kind of work anymore.  I need freedom and independence.  I feel too boxed in right now.  People had told me not to say anything, because the boss might decide to let me go.  But she asked me point blank how things are going with the job and I couldn't lie.  I'm just not someone who lies.  Too exhausting and confusing to keep up with lies.  I'm so happy I said something; I feel so much better about the whole situation now.  And I'm still employed!

I really believe things happen for a reason, in the order they're supposed to happen.  And I also believe that had I not come clean with my boss at work, we wouldn't have won the bid for the house.  Also, as much as I'm dying to get into the other company, he's not ready for me yet, which is good because I'm trying to get a mortgage and I can't change jobs right now.  It's just not meant to be at this moment in time.  Sounds weird, maybe, but that's what I believe.

some good news

Just thought I'd stop by with a little update.

I've written about my issues with my new job and the fact that I made the wrong choice.  Mentally, it has really done a number on me over the past several months.  I've been pretty miserable and hopeless about it, but today I got a good sign that not all hope of getting into the other company is lost.  I hope to know more by the end of the week, but this has put me in a good mood once again.

Also, we put a bid in on a house this morning!  It's in the middle of the state and it's an OLD house.  VERY old.  Like, centuries old.  We feel like it's "the one."  It's got the kind of property we want and the amount of square footage we want.  And it's got one more bedroom than we were looking for, which is a big plus.  Yes, we will need to do some work, but it doesn't appear to be anything major.  Just removing wallpaper, painting, etc.

We actually put the bid in at 11:30 pm last night.  We had gone to see the house on Saturday (our second time seeing it).  We saw some issues and walked away not really 100% sure if we wanted to bid.  We talked a lot about it over the weekend and flip-flopped several times.  Late Sunday night we decided to bid.  Unfortunately, we didn't hear from the realtor until late last night and found out there's another bid on the house.  So, at 11 pm I was editing the numbers on the contract, signing, then waking Bob up so he could sign.  I snapped a picture with my phone and emailed it to the realtor at 11:30 pm.  I could have done it this morning, but with another bid on the house, I didn't want to chance being too late.  The seller has three days to decide, so this is going to be the longest three days of my life!

So after sending the bid off to the realtor, I tried to sleep and of course my mind was going a million miles an hour.  In my mind, we're already moved in and working on the various projects, picking out paint, etc.  Then Bailey finds a stink bug in bed, which was just wonderful.  Bob caught it and did, I don't know, something, to it.  For the next hour Bailey kept looking for the bug.  In the window sills, across the pillows, on our night stands.  Then I've got Riley, the white, fluffy Persian, glued to my side, on his back, with his paws in the air.  Then I was hot.  Then I was itchy.  Then the pillow was hard.  Needless to say, I was exhausted this morning!

"I could do anything": the job from hell

Yesterday I created my job from heaven.  Now I'm supposed to create my job from Hell, which should be the exact opposite.  I have to come up with things that would make me want to quit or avoid the job altogether.  This won't be hard.

OK, here's my job from Hell:

I have to be to work at 8 am or earlier, which means setting my alarm and going to bed at a reasonable time. (Wow, I already feel like I'm in prison after that one sentence.)  The work day starts at 8 (or earlier) and goes until after 5 pm. I'm non-exempt and hourly, and allowed no overtime, which means keeping track of every hour.   If I have an appointment I have to take PTO or make up the time.  My boss micromanages me and always wants to know what I'm doing and why I didn't get X or Y done.  I sit in a cubicle next to someone who talks to herself all day.  People interrupt me all the time and like to stop by and chat for 15 minutes or more.  The boss doesn't get personal and never asks about my family or home life.  All day it's go, go, go.  I do work that requires dotting every I and crossing every T and keeping up with the latest industry news to a fault.  I'm a worker bee and have no say in anything.  I work in only one area.  I have no freedom to direct my own work.  I have to attend multiple meetings everyday.  I've got lots of system knowledge, but it's never called into use.  Working from home is not allowed.  Ever.

It exists and I'm pretty much living it right now.

"i could do anything": the job from heaven

I like this exercise.  I'm supposed to create my job from Heaven.  Basically, I have to come up with a job that includes everything I love and want to do, no matter how crazy or unattainable it seems.  The only rule is that my "job from Heaven" has to include actual work and hours I want to keep.

The next exercise, which I'll post tomorrow, is to create my job from Hell.  I think that one will be pretty easy now that I've left my old job and have a new one.  I can drawn on the experiences of both and hopefully avoid the "job from Hell" in the future.

OK, here's my ideal job:

I don't need to set my alarm, because my hours are flexible.  The typical work day starts around 9, but could be earlier if I feel like getting out of bed.  I'm exempt and salaried; no need to punch a time clock or worry when I need to leave for an appointment or come in late because I'm ordering Def Leppard tickets.  I have an office with deep purple walls.  Each morning when I arrive the boss asks me how I'm doing, how are my cats and husband, and tells me about how he and his family are doing.  I work at my own pace, I have goals to work towards, my work actually means something to me and I enjoy it.  I eat lunch out everyday and then come back and write a review about it on my blog; I get paid for that as part of my job.  The boss allows one hour of reading time so I can catch up on all the novels I'm waiting to read. I also get time to take a cooking lesson when I feel like it.  No one interrupts me during the day, and if they do, it's a short conversation.  I work independently, only involving the boss and other people when necessary.  When I'm not reading or writing restaurant/food reviews, I teach people how the systems work and write custom reports that help the boss determine the next step for the company.  I write procedures and fix some computers.  I figure out any new systems we have.  Since I know everything about the system, people are always amazed at how I was able to extract information with so few tools available to me.  It's a small company where everyone knows everyone else and people care.  It's more like a family.  Oh, and I get to work from home one day a week.  I have a say in the decisions and often recommend decisions.

Wonder if this exists??  If so, let me know.  I'll get right on it!

"i could do anything": meaningful work

It just occurred to me that I can't label my posts "exercise 1," "exercise 2," etc., because in each chapter the numbers start back a 1.  So, I'll write the name of the exercise.

This chapter is about trying to find out what's stopping me from figuring out what I want to do.  Being "stuck," in other words.  It talks about the difference between a "job" and "work."  Barbara Sher, the author, says a "job" just pays the rent, while "work" is something that feels worth doing.  It's meaningful in some way.  I'd say a better term for "work" would be "career."

The first exercise in the chapter tells me to write down what I think "meaningful work" is.  Then I'm supposed to write down the names of people whose lives seems especially significant and explain why.

Here we go.

Meaningful work:

1. Makes me feel like I'm making a difference in the company
2. Helping people understand and get the information they need
3. Gets my blood flowing
4. Makes me want to go to work
5. Makes me feel like I'm invested in the company and that my work is helping to move the company forward
6. Challenges me and stretches me

I don't get any of these from my current job, unfortunately.  This shows me, in black and white, that I'm in the wrong job.

Significant people:

1. Former CEO of my old bank:  tried to make a difference in the community by providing something that was missing; serves as a deacon in his church
2. My bariatric surgeon:  changing people's lives, restoring them to good health and raising their self esteem
3. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, and Mother Theresa, for obvious reasons
  

"i could do anything": exercise 1

As I mentioned earlier last week, I'm in a tough position:  I took the wrong job and I'm miserable.  What I thought I wanted, isn't what I want.  And I'm not sure how to figure out what I want.  But I know it's not what I'm doing now.

Last week I started reading a book, I Could Do Anything, if Only I Knew What it Was.  I'm reading it in order to help me figure out what I want to do next in terms of my career.  It has lots of exercises that are supposed to help me figure it all out, so I've decided I'm going to share my experience here on my blog.

Chapter 1 is all about the messages we receive from other people during childhood and how they shape us.  Those messages tell us who we're supposed to be and that's how people sometimes end up picking jobs or careers that make them unhappy.  Often those messages contradict each other.  For example, your mom might tell you that you shouldn't draw attention to yourself, but then goes on to always tell you how talented a dancer you are and you should perform in the Rockettes.

Exercise 1 says to write down a list of people that lived in my house during my childhood, my family, friends, and other important people in my life, such as a teacher or coach or spouse.  Anyone who had any impact on my life.  I then have to write down the message or messages I got from each person.  So here goes:

• Parents:  I'm smart so I should be a brain surgeon; mom didn't like to argue and wouldn't, she was very patient; dad had a short temper, he was fun to be with so I always wanted to be with him, he knew mom was in charge; very supportive, never told me how to live my life
• Siblings:  liked to tell me I was adopted because I got good grades and was smart; didn't seem to want to spend much time with me, probably because of the age gap
• Former teacher:  don't worry about what people say about you, she liked to say, "consider the source."
• Husband:  very supportive, never tells me I can't do something, man of few words, wants me to make more money so he can retire and be a house husband (actually, I wouldn't mind that!)
• Friends:  always tell me I'm the normal one of the level-headed one.  I'm expected to always know what to do.  That's a lot of pressure.
• Old boyfriend:  I have a pretty face, but need to work on the rest of me.

So, what did I get out of this?  Everyone always told me how smart I was (am) so I always wanted to prove them right.  I strove for not just good grades, but straight As, honor society, and Dean's List.  That carried over into my job.  I had to make sure I not only kept up, but got ahead, climbed the ladder fast, and got the praise and recognition.

working on me

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I'm unhappy with my new job.  Mostly I'm unhappy because I took the wrong job.  I discovered only a week into it that I just don't want to do this kind of work anymore.  Actually, I knew on the first day when I pulled into the parking lot.  I had an overwhelming gut feeling that I was in the wrong place, and actually said it out loud before I even turned the engine off.  But I ignored it, figuring it was just nerves and told myself to give things a chance.  After all, I was in one place for 17 years.  After 2 1/2 weeks, though, I knew it wasn't just nerves.  I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd made a horrible mistake. So, I contacted the other company that I turned down twice for different jobs.  Unfortunately, I couldn't get in there.  There's still hope, and I won't know for sure for another month or so, but now I'm worried about what I'll do if I can't get that job.

At almost 40 years old, I'm struggling with what I want to be "when I grow up."  I never thought I'd be in this position at this stage of my life.  I thought I'd be at my old job forever.  Naive, I know.  I do know I don't want to do a lot of what I did at my last job.  I was a Jill-of-all-trades there, which meant I had tons to do and was involved in everything.  I always bitched and moaned that I couldn't "get anything done because of this or because of that," or "if only I didn't have to do X then I would be able to devote more time to Y," etc. I thought I wanted to be focused in one area and not have to deal with all the other garbage.  Turns out I love the garbage.  And the diversity and independence I had.  The things I thought were a royal pain in the ass at the time turned out to be the things that made the other half of the job, the half that required documentation and lots of attention to detail, tolerable.

I've been stressing out quite a bit, trying to figure out what kind of job I'll look for if I don't get into the company I want to get into.  In order to try and figure it out, I bought a self-help book I saw mentioned on a blog I read, I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was, by Barbara Sher.  I've started reading it and I like so far.  There are lots of exercises to do.  Then it dawned on me today:  I'll blog about the book and the exercises.  I figure it will help me get through the book (I've never yet finished a self-help book) and it will provide some entertainment to whoever is reading this blog.  I'll start posting about it this week.

the stress is building

I am someone who adapts very well to change; however, I'm learning that I really hate uncertainty.  I need to have a clear idea in mind as to what I want and how I'm going to make it happen.  When I don't have a clear plan, or my plan depends on things that aren't under my control, it's very stressful and I generally feel like life is horrible.  I know; I'm being a drama queen.

Things have been a little stressful lately.  We're in the beginning stages of trying to sell our house; I dread going to work everyday and regret taking this job; and I'm now facing the reality that if the other job doesn't come through, I really don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

We've been wanting to move for at least five years.  The neighborhood is going downhill and we're surrounded by small businesses.  For the most part, the businesses don't bother us; however, one of the businesses is quite busy and frequently there are delivery trucks lined up outside the house.  They block the driveway, leave their engine idling, are usually noisy, and sometimes the driver actually just parks in the middle of the street and goes to hangout in the building.  Also, we want more space.  Even though we have a fair amount of space, it's just not a good layout so it feels smaller.

Unfortunately, we didn't decide we wanted to move until after the housing market plummeted, which means we're possibly upside down in our mortgage.  We're getting an appraisal soon and plan to approach the businesses on either side to see if they want to buy.  Both are interested in expanding so we have a good shot.  If we can't sell to them then we will have to put the house on the market.  That's fine, but it could take a long time given our location.  I really don't want to rent the house out because that lowers the amount we can spend on a new house.  Plus, I just don't want to be a landlord to strangers.

In terms of work, I dread everyday I have to get up and go.  I chose the wrong job.  During the time I was unemployed after my previous bank closed, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I wanted to do next (I was previously a "Jill-of-all-trades").  I thought I had it figured out, and was 100% convinced I did, but about a week and a half after I started the new job it dawned on me that I chose the wrong job; I should have chosen the job that was offered to me by another bank the day before I accepted this offer.  Actually, my gut knew before I did.  The first day when I drove up in the parking lot, I got this overwhelming feeling that I was in the wrong place.  I dismissed it, though, thinking it was panic at starting a new job after 17 years in the same place.  It's not like me to not listen to my gut, or to weigh the options and think it through.  So now I'm stuck in a job I'm unhappy in.  So, I go to work, do my 8 hours, and come home.  And I'm miserable.  

I contacted the other bank, but there's a hold on hiring at the moment.  We may speak next month, though, so there's still hope.  However, if that falls through I am faced with having to figure out what kinds of jobs to apply for.  I haven't a clue.  I actually bought a book that should help me so I'm in the process of reading that.  I never thought I'd be asking myself, "What do I want to be when I grow up?"

So, that's my life lately.  In terms of eating, I'm handling the stress well.  I'm not overeating or grazing.  I'm not eating any junk.  Prior to surgery I would have stopped at McDonald's and ordered a Big Mac value meal and chicken mcnuggets.  Then a little while later I would probably have a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Someday I'll be brave enough to post a sample pre-surgery menu.  A "day in the life," if you will.  But I'm not there yet.

life lately...

I figured I'd talk about a few other things going on, other than my weight loss.

Bob and I are starting to think about looking for a new house.  We're getting really tired of our current location and need more space.  We've been in our current house for 17 years.  We bought it right after we got married.  We got it cheap due to it being a foreclosure and it needed work.  We're on a dead end, but we're surrounded by a few small businesses and a couple houses.

The business that's at the end of the dead end is getting to be a nuisance.  They make artisan pasta and now that they've bumped up production, their crew is there almost 24/7; liquid nitrogen deliveries are coming at all hours, sometimes at 6 AM and others close to 10:30 PM, which are really noisy; and many of their workers are completely disrespectful of the fact that people live on the street.  They speed up and down the street, blast car stereos, and carry on outside during their breaks in the summertime. We lost power one morning so the AC went off.  (That's what drowns out any noise we might hear since the bedroom faces the street.)  They were all out in the parking lot screaming and hollering, having a good ole time, blasting their Spanish music.  It was 7 AM!  On a Saturday!  I got up, went downstairs, threw open the front door and started yelling at them to keep it down because it's 7 AM on Saturday and people are trying to sleep.  At first they acted like they didn't understand me.  Then I said, "this is me being NICE!"  They finally turned the music off and quieted down.

So we're going to start house hunting.  Since he works in Danbury and I'm in Bridgeport, anything in between is fair game.  We want space, both in terms of square footage and acreage.  I have a big family and it would be nice to host parties and picnics and have the room to accommodate everyone.  All Bob wants is a garage.  I'm a little more discriminating. LOL

Speaking about work...my new work life is rough.  Not the place or the people or even the job.  After a couple weeks I've realized that I made a huge mistake and should have chosen the other job opportunity. Even though I thought I wanted to go this direction, I didn't realize until I was in the new job that it's not the direction I want to  go.  I even went to visit the psychologist who did my pre-surgery evaluation, just to get a completely objective opinion.  She agreed that I should pursue the other job and feels I made the "safe" choice between the two.  She said that eventually I will become frustrated and return to my old eating habits. After thinking about it I realized she's right.  She said after spending so many years in one place there's bound to be a "rebound relationship" with the first job that I take, and that I should give myself a pass on this. So, I emailed the other place and I'm waiting to hear back.  Let's hope.

Random kitty pic for you.  Leo got a lion's cut a few weeks ago.  The kittens try to play with the pom pom on his tail and I can tell he's embarrassed.

Before

 

After

i tried a brownie...

Yesterday I talked about the potluck breakfast that my coworkers set up for someone's birthday.  I was good and stayed away from it all.  I took home a piece of broccoli casserole for dinner and that was it.  I came in today and they had put out the leftover muffins and brownies.  At lunchtime, I decided I would treat myself to a very small slice of a brownie.  I would say it was 1/2 inch wide and an inch long.  It was so delicious and incredibly fudgey.  It went down fine, but about 3 minutes later I felt a little queasy.  I continued on with my lunch and I felt fine after about 5 minutes.  Later in the afternoon I was feeling my work ADD kick in and decided to have another slice. Again, I felt queasy and this time it sat like a rock in my stomach. Lesson learned.  It's too soon for that stuff.  I'm actually glad I didn't feel good afterwards.  It will serve as a deterrent in the future.  I'm starting to feel a little "head hunger" lately, and I really dread when it comes back in full force.  I'll have to learn to distinguish head hunger from stomach hunger.  Not easy to do sometimes.

temptations...

I've developed a routine at work:  I come in, boot my computer, go hang up my coat, unpack my bag, go make my high protein hot chocolate (can't seem to get up at 6 am anymore in order to make it at home), and then sit at my desk, drinking hot chocolate and checking my email.  About 45 minutes later I eat my breakfast.

I go into the kitchen to make my hot chocolate and I see an insulated casserole carrier, a big jug of pancake syrup, and all the plates and utensils set up.  No big deal.  I go back to my desk and enjoy my cinnamon hot chocolate.

When it's time to go heat up my breakfast, I see a few of the women have set up a potluck breakfast and the table is now full of food. (The rice crackers I brought in to share had been relegated to the empty table, all by themselves.)  There were fresh sticky buns, broccoli and cheese casserole, fresh fruit, big muffins, small muffins, mini cinnamon swirls, Dunkin' Donuts coffee and OJ.  It smelled heavenly.  Especially because they were heating the sticky buns in the microwave.

Apparently it was a coworker's birthday today.  I wished her happy birthday and ducked out of the kitchen. I let them know why I wasn't going to eat (I'm very open about my surgery).  Everything smelled delicious, but I sat at my desk and enjoyed my egg bites; it didn't bother me at all.  Later on I ducked back in and snagged a piece of the broccoli casserole for tonight's dinner.  It was delicious!

Later in the day it was round two:  Chocolate Bomb cake and brownies.  Again, I avoided the kitchen and didn't touch any of it.  I made a cup of raspberry hot chocolate and enjoyed it.  It crossed my mind to grab a small brownie, but I don't want to get into my old habits.

Speaking of temptations, I have found a new trigger food:  honey roasted sesame sticks.  They generally come in the Chinese rice cracker mix and they're delicious.  I bought some at the local health food store and that was a mistake.  I've noticed that when I eat any kind of item high is carbs, like crackers, my weight loss slows down.  I want to take advantage of the next year as much as possible, so I will need to limit my crackers.  The first year after gastric bypass is when we get the most weight loss with the least amount of effort.  Sounds good to me!

my little bailey boo...

"Monday is over!"

my first week back at work...

Sorry I haven't written for a few days.  I've been busy getting back into the swing of the work routine.  I've officially completed my first week.  Although, I didn't start until Tuesday and Wednesday was a snow day so it was only three days.

I think the toughest part of going back to work is getting my body used to getting up earlier and going to bed earlier.  It used to be that I would start the process of getting ready for bed around 10 PM and would get up in the morning around 7:15 AM (although I usually pushed that to 7:30 or 7:40 most mornings, even though I naturally woke up around 7).  By the time my first day of work rolled around I was getting into bed around midnight and then reading in bed for a bit.  Then I would wake up around 8 AM, sometimes 8:30. Boy, was it tough last week having to be up by 6 AM!  Really, I could get up around 6:45 AM and be at work by 8 AM, but with my new lifestyle I need to allow some time to prepare the tummy for food.  I think in time I will be OK to eat shortly after I get up, but for now I need about 45 minutes to prepare it.  And by "prepare" I mean settle it with some high protein hot chocolate.  I wake up extremely hungry and the hot chocolate takes the edge off my hunger and gets me ready to want to eat.

I find getting in all my water and vitamins is so much easier now that I'm working.  I use one of their 12 oz. paper coffee cups and drink 4 of those throughout the day.  That gives me my 1.5 liters of fluids for the day before 5 PM, which means anything after that is just gravy.  I keep the vitamins on my desk so I remember to take them.

Breakfast and lunch have been easy.  They gave me an awesome lunch bag that includes a water bottle so I toss in my cheese sticks, yogurt, and my lunch for the day.  I also brought in a bunch of stuff from home to keep in my cube in the event I forget my lunch:  protein bars, cashews (tummy isn't too sure about these yet), and Crystal Light.  They have a toaster oven in the kitchen, which I'm pretty psyched about.  I can bring in my cauliflower crust pizza and toast it nice and crisp.

So, the job itself?  I think I will like it.  I'm now more of a worker bee than a manager like I used to be and I'm finding it difficult to adjust to that mentally.  I don't mind reporting to someone, but I guess I feel stifled somehow.  I don't know.  This weekend I've been plagued with doubts as to whether this is the job for me, whether I should call the other bank that is dying to recruit me.  The other bank had a job for me that would have me working on all sorts of high level projects and I'd be on my own pretty much. The downside is the commute.  Actually, not the commute itself, but getting from the train station to the bank.  It's just a pain.  I know I need to give this job a fair shot, though.  It wouldn't be fair to anyone, including myself.  What if I quit and go to the other bank and I hate it?  Then I'd be trapped.  I was at my last job for 17 years so this is likely why I'm doubting myself.  On the upside, I get out at 5 PM and don't have to work a minute later. Plus, I'm non-exempt so I'll be paid overtime if I work over 40 hours.

To come later this week:

• before and after pictures!  I've lost some more weight, which I'll reveal when I post the pics. :)
• it's my wedding anniversary tomorrow!  18 years married and almost 24 years together.
• a review of Calcet Creamy Bites.  This is my calcium of choice and the bites are delicious.
• whatever else I decide to write.