small victory: no chocolate today!

I admit, I mostly posted this because I haven't posted in several weeks. I've been really bad about that and I'm trying to get better. I guess I just don't have too much to say at the moment.

But, yes, my small victory for today is I had NO CHOCOLATE! That might not seem like a big deal, but it is for me. It's the first time in days that I haven't eaten any.

I've continued the trend--from last year!!--of eating a crappy diet. I just keep eating stuff I shouldn't eat, like Chex Mix, or treats from the freezer, like chocolate chip cookies and brownies I made for the family holiday dinner. Rather that toss them or give them away, I froze them. I really shouldn't have done that. It has enabled me to keep eating junk.

Since I'm still eating junk, my weight isn't budging even though I still work out five days a week. I could work out hard seven days a week, but if I eat more than I burn off, my weight isn't going to budge. Actually, I'd probably gain weight.

I'm hoping that I can get back on track before I start my new job, which is on March 11. (I'll write more about that later.) I plan to spend some time going through my freezer and cabinets to see what I can come up with. I'm not all that creative, so I may need to do some Googling!

small victories

As I've mentioned in other posts, I'm having a very hard time getting back to eating right after the tummy tuck surgery. For some reason, I've been buying a lot of candy the last month or two. Pretty much any chance I get, I buy it. Typically Peanut M&Ms or Justin's Peanut Butter Cups (dark chocolate). Yes, I've had gastric bypass and that usually means sugar affects me. But, as with anything else, I found a way around it:  I eat it in small portions over an hour or so, since I know how many grams of sugar I can handle at once. Not good, since that keeps me in the mindset that eating all this candy is manageable and no big deal. So, I decided to stop buying it. I have other things to work on, too, but I figure one small step with get the momentum going. After all these years I've learned that I can do All The Things at once. It's too much and I get overwhelmed and then just stop altogether.

I'm happy to report that it's been one week and I haven't bought ANY candy! Has it been tough? Most definitely.  Every time I was in the store this week I was browsing the candy rack. But I didn't give in.

Next step?  Possibly moving to grocery delivery so I can't make any impulse food buys. This is another thing that's a big problem for me and always has been.

small victories: bagel vs. fruit AKA "things left in the cafeteria"

A cafeteria/kitchen at work is a wonderful thing to have, except when you're trying like hell to get your diet on track so you can lose a few pounds before surgery.

During the holidays it was a dumping ground for cookies, candy, miscellaneous gift basket contents, cake and other assorted items. Even fruit cake, which actually got eaten.  (I tried it for the first time and I liked it...my mom would be so proud!) It was awful having to go in there everyday to put my lunch in the fridge, refill my water bottle, etc. Now that the holidays are over, it's way easier to deal with going in there, as there typically isn't anything there. Today, however, I went into the cafeteria to get my hard-boiled egg, which was to be my mid-morning snack, and spotted bagels and fruit salad left over from a meeting. Immediately it popped into my head to grab 1/4 of a bagel (luckily they were cut up into quarters) and some cream cheese. I fought with myself about it. A quarter of a bagel is no big deal, it's not that many calories, I just lost a couple pounds (yay me!), and on and on. (I don't know why free food at work is such a powerful magnet!) You know what I did?  I didn't take one. I got my egg from the fridge and grabbed a few pieces of the fruit salad and went back to my office. Yes, I really REALLY wanted that bagel, but I told myself that bagels aren't going to go extinct any time soon and if I want to hit my goal before surgery, I have to make sacrifices. Yes, for me not eating a bagel is a sacrifice, and yes, I do think that bagels or (insert any food here) will go extinct tomorrow which is why I-must-eat-it-today.

So, yeah, I ate my egg and fruit salad and I'm just fine.

small victories: i did ALL my workouts last week

For the first time in awhile, probably since the beginning of the holidays, I worked out five days last week!  That means I did my four on-my-own workouts and worked out with the trainer, too. Three of the four days I did my prescribed workout, which bores the crap out of me but it's necessary, and one day I did the 30-minute workout my trainer gave me awhile ago. Having one day to take a break from the usual routine, while still working really hard, seems to make all the difference mentally for me. I really like the 30-minute workout because it goes by really fast and I'm just as tired when I'm done as when I do the normal routine that takes close to an hour.

While I was training Friday night, my trainer gave me a little preview of what I can expect after surgery. He didn't show me any new moves, but explained that I will be doing many new things, things I'll probably think are awful, while others I might like. He also said I'd be learning burpees and that no client of his ever leaves a session without doing them. That one scares me, actually, and I'm dreading it. Overall, though, I'm looking forward to changing things up.

small victories

I haven't had many small victories at all in the last few weeks, as my eating has pretty much spiraled out of control. Not sure why, really. Maybe because I haven't put any serious effort into advanced food prep, such as washing and chopping the celery for the week, chopping the cheese for snacks, boiling the eggs, etc. It seems I go through cycles:  I shop and prep everything ahead of time, so I'm set up for the week; then I'm away or get lazy one weekend and don't do anything, which leads to grabbing whatever I can during the week; then I get back on track for a week or two. Lather, rinse, repeat. These cycles are what is causing me to not lose as much weight as I could have by now. I've lost about 17 pounds since starting with a personal trainer back in March; however, I feel it could be more.  So, I'm making a supreme effort this week to stay the course.


My victories:

• Last week I passed by the bagels in the store and didn't buy any. That's a feat for me--bagels are my kryptonite.  I buy two or three under the guise that they're for Bob, when really I'm hoping he forgets about them and then they're all mine. Mine, I tell you!
• I hard-boiled a dozen eggs this weekend and prepped my celery for the week.
• I went to the gym with the BFF last Friday night. That's not a big deal normally; however, my trainer is out on medical leave for knee replacement and I usually train with him on Fridays. This was the first week that I didn't have a Friday appointment. Since Bob was working late, my first inclination was to grab some sushi and go home and watch the Golden Girls all night. (I know, I lead a very exciting life.)

As I mentioned, my trainer is out on medical leave. Since I won't be seeing him for a month or so, it's going to be really important that I get my nutrition under control and I stick with the workout routine and schedule. I just have to remember that his being out for a month isn't a license for me to "take a break." Not only because it's a waste of money if I don't keep up with it, but because he will know as soon as I got back for my next appointment with him. Obviously he will be able to tell if I'm struggling. Plus, I'm convinced that he just has a sixth sense about this stuff. 

small victory

I decided in April to start posting when I have a small victory. Whether it's avoiding sweets, or carbs, exercising when I didn't feel like it, or not pushing a coworker out the window, I'm going to post it. I've had some small victories since that post, but I've forgotten to post them. :)

Yesterday's small victory was the fact that I didn't buy anything in the cafeteria at work.  We have cold cases with various items, like sandwiches, salads, cheese snacks, yogurt, cheeseburgers, drinks, etc. We also have a freezer case and a snack rack.  The snack rack is what normally gets me in trouble.  There are some decent choices, like beef jerky and protein bars, but I tend to go for the pretzels or crispy pea snacks when I'm trying to be "good," or the Bugles or Pop Corners when I'm being "bad." I'd kicked that habit for a long time, but it reared it's ugly head again last week.  Mainly because my back was really bothering me, which was making it hard to sit at my desk and work. So, I made a few trips to the cafeteria to spend money I don't need to be spending on food I don't need to be eating.  As a result, I didn't lose any weight this past week.  I wasn't hungry, just restless.  I think that's the thing that will plague me for the rest of my life, unfortunately.  I'll just have to control it as best as I can.

small victories

This weekend's small victory:  I broke the one minute mark on the plank! Well, considering I beat my own record by 13 seconds, I'm thinking that qualifies as a big victory. :) I think it took about two and a half weeks to get to this point. My baseline was 14 seconds, so 1:05 is a big accomplishment. The goal is to eventually get to three minutes, which will mean I have a very strong core.  The short-term goal is 1:15 a week from now. I think I can do it. 

small victories

Today's small victory:  I prepared lunch for my husband and didn't eat any of the potato chips.  Not even one.  Was I tempted?  Definitely.  But then I thought about all the progress I'm making these last few weeks and that stopped me. Plus, I knew that having just one would likely start a craving for carbs--something I've been limiting lately.  The carbs I'm limiting are crackers, chips and bread. I've noticed that since I've starting do that again, I'm not craving them anymore.

small victories

I've decided to start posting when I have a small victory. Whether it's avoiding sweets, or carbs, exercising when I didn't feel like it, or not pushing a coworker out the window, I'm going to post it.

Today's small victory: We're having a bake sale at work today, which benefits the American Cancer Society through the Relay For Life. Goodies came out at 8 am, 10 am, and 2 pm. It was going strong when I got in this morning. I took a look and drooled over everything, but I didn't buy anything for myself (but I donated money!). That's actually a huge victory for me, as I have a hard time avoiding bake sales.