"Come on, just one more!"

I wrote this post for a community Facebook page, which got published today, and thought I'd share it here.  

Enjoy! (And feel free to ask me anything in the comments.)

“Come on, just one more!” 

I’ve been hearing, saying, or thinking that phrase my whole life. When I was a chubby kid, I always wanted just one more cookie. When I was an overweight teenager, I wanted just one more Chicken McNugget. When I was an obese young adult, I wanted just one more slice of pizza. And when I was a morbidly obese adult, I wanted just one more cheeseburger. Nowadays, I push myself to do just one more pushup.

So, how did I go from “just one more cookie” to “just one more push-up”? Weight loss surgery. Specifically, gastric bypass. 

It took me about 10 years, many different diets, and an all-time high of 343 pounds to make the decision to do it, mainly because I thought of it as “quitting” or “taking the easy way out.” Weight loss surgery is neither of these things. What is it? It’s a tool. And just like most tools, the effort you put into using it correctly determines how well it works. And honestly, I think it’s much harder than losing weight in the typical manner. Why? Because even though it physically makes it much harder to overeat, it doesn’t fix the mind. If you’re someone who is obese because you’re bored, use food as a reward, or ignore your feelings through the use of food, weight loss surgery is not going to magically fix these things; these habits and feelings don’t go away simply because the scale is quickly trending downwards. What it takes is changing your habits:  exercise; eat better; and avoid using food as a reward, something to do, as an emotional crutch, etc.

I had gastric bypass surgery in 2013. What got me there, finally, is a very embarrassing and humiliating experience, which happened twice within a week: I was unable to buckle my seatbelt for the first time in my life while flying both to and from Las Vegas. The flight going to Las Vegas was more embarrassing, because the male flight attendant shouted up to his coworker at the front of the plane that he needed the seatbelt extender. Coming home, the woman flight attendant grabbed an extender, palmed it in her hand, and quietly slipped it into mine, for which I was grateful. But it wasn’t just those two moments. It was the five years leading up to them: the frequent acid reflux and heartburn; the fact that I’d go to grocery store, buy three (yes, three!) candy bars and eat them all before I even left the parking lot; and it had become very difficult to find clothing I liked AND that actually fit, which is really hard mentally when you’re only 39 years old. I realized I’d be 400 pounds in no time if I didn’t do something.

So, I signed up for an information seminar, made the decision, and did six months of pre-op preparation and testing to make it happen. Over the last seven years it’s been quite the journey:  I lost 143 pounds; had a tummy tuck with muscle repair; then developed back issues, which resulted in lumbar fusion in 2020; regained 50 pounds after back surgery due to the pandemic, less activity, and emotional eating; and now I’ve discovered I have bursitis and osteoarthritis in both hips, as well as gluteal tendinosis in one hip. Even though it hasn’t been completely smooth sailing, it was the best thing I ever did for myself and don’t regret it—it helped me to change my habits and my lifestyle. 

Do I still want “just one more” when I decide to treat myself? Absolutely, and that will probably never go away. But the last seven years has helped me turn that desire for “more” into pushing myself more to do just one more pushup. The desire to continue to be a weight loss surgery success story outweighs my desire to have that extra piece of pizza. 

I included the pictures below with the post. My "before" picture (left) was taken in September 2013.  I took a cruise to Bermuda with two of my sisters. I was roughly 340 pounds at that point.  Three months later I had gastric bypass surgery. My "after" picture (right) was taken in Huntington Beach, CA, in September 2016 while on a business trip. This was about six months after I started working with my trainer. I believe I was around 220 pounds. I had gained back about 19 pounds at that point and stayed there until I had the abdominoplasty in March 2017. I got down to 200 and then regained that 20 pounds. I hovered around 220/230 until March of 2020 when I had back surgery. Then...well, the pandemic hit and I had a rough year, both mentally and physically. But I'm doing much better now. 

  

I'm now working on losing the excess weight I gained in 2020 after the lumbar fusion. It's hard to believe that one year after two back surgeries, I'm able to do standing chest presses with a 50-pound barbell. It might not sound like a lot of weight, but it is for someone who has always had shitty upper body strength and had major back surgery a year ago. I'll always need to protect the fusion, but I'm almost back to where I was prior to surgery and that's a good feeling; I never thought I'd get to this point.