homemade jalapeno jelly

Yup, more jelly! I told you I had a lot of jalapenos to use up. And I'm finding I like this whole canning thing.  Once I figured out the timing of when I should start the empty jars to heating, when to start the jelly on the stove, etc., it got easier and not such a big project. I also decided to chop all the peppers ahead of time using my food processor, which made it flow a lot better. Plus, I'm quite happy that I've had only one jar fail to seal out of four batches of jelly. That's way better than when I first tried making jelly many years ago. That...didn't go very well.

For this recipe I used the Jalapeno Jelly recipe I found on Kraft's website.  Kraft makes CERTO, which is the liquid pectin I use to make the jelly gel, so it seemed like this would be the easiest and most fool-proof. There are SO many recipes out there for jalapeno or hot pepper jelly, and even when you Google "jalapeno jelly with liquid pectin," you get a ton of recipes that call for powdered pectin, which I didn't have on hand. Powdered pectin can be used, but there's a different order in which you assemble and cook the jelly. Since I'm new at this, I wasn't comfortable trying to adapt a recipe for liquid pectin.

As you can see, it looks pretty good even though Marty wasn't there to supervise this batch. (He loves to sit in the pass-through from the dining room to the kitchen and watch me cook.) I'm happy to say it jelled up firmly and isn't runny. It has a pleasant heat and isn't very spicy at all. I'm finding that the jelly has a lot of heat at first, but as it sits overnight it tends to mellow out. Because of this, my plan next time is to leave more of the jalapeno seeds intact--that's what holds most of the heat.

So, what will I use this for? I already gave away several to friends and family. The remaining jars will likely be used for making a goat cheese panini with jalapeno jelly. Messy, but delicious! I could also mix it with cream cheese to make a dip or spread. 

Next on this list is blackberry jalapeno, as I have several more jalapenos on my plant to use up before the end of the season. I LOVE blackberry jam, so I'm thinking this will be a good combination. Although blackberries are expensive, so I will wait until I see them on sale. 

homemade strawberry jalapeno jelly

OK, I'm officially on a jelly-making kick!  I just made strawberry jalapeno jelly and it's so yummy!  Marty supervised again, but I didn't get a picture of him this time.

The recipe I made was actually for strawberry habanero jelly, but I had jalapenos on-hand and needed to use them, so I just used more jalapenos. I couldn't figure out how many jalapenos would be required to replace three habaneros, and Google failed me this time on that front, so I just guessed. I used five and left most of the seeds in, which is where a lot of the heat comes from. It worked out just fine:  after leaving one jar of jelly in the fridge for 24 hours (jar didn't seal properly), the heat had mellowed out and the result was a sweet, very mild heat. When I first tried the jelly it was quite hot from the peppers, so letting it sit for a bit helped tone it down quite a bit.  Actually, I'd consider adding more jalapenos next time, or just leaving in all the seeds.

I'm not sure if it's because the jar didn't seal properly, or if I didn't boil the jelly long enough after adding the pectin, but it didn't set firmly like jelly normally does. It came out more like jam, which is fine because I actually prefer jam.  It just makes it more difficult to eat on a hot bagel or piece of toast.

As you can see, all the strawberries and peppers floated to the top. That happens with homemade jelly. Since you're not supposed to disturb the jelly once you take it out of the canning pot, you really can't shake it up while it's hot; you run the risk that the jar won't seal properly. That's OK. All I need to do is stir it up once it's opened at some point in the future.

This is the recipe I used:  Strawberry Habanero Jelly.  I used two 16 oz. containers of fresh strawberries to make this, along with five jalapenos. This made eight, 8 oz. jars.

Next I'm making hot pepper jelly. Then it's crab apple jelly using the crab apples from my own trees--I have six of them!

homemade pineapple jalapeno jelly

So, what to do with all the jalapenos that are growing in my garden? And how about all those canning jars I have? Make pineapple jalapeno jelly, of course!

The first and last time I canned anything was probably about 20 years ago. I had a cookbook for jams and jellies that I'd bought thinking, "I'm going to make delicious jams and jellies! I'm going to can them all! I'm going to sell them at farmer's markets!"  That's usually how my thought process goes with anything new and crafty I try...just like my mom. And, as usual, I lose interest quickly, either because I'm not as good at whatever "it" is, or it doesn't produce results quick enough, or any other excuse I can think of. I differ from my mother in that way; she'd follow through.  It might not always be a success, but she stuck with it to the end and then moved onto something new.

Armed with my new jam and jelly cookbook, I made the strawberry jam recipe a couple times and decided I wanted to can it, since there's only so much strawberry jam you can use at one time. It...didn't go very well. I must not have stirred it enough, or maybe the burner was too hot,because every time I ended up with a browned mess on the bottom of the pot. The jam itself was good, though. (I made it at my parents' house one time years ago, and my mother kept telling me I "burned" her pot. I disagree...)  The jars never sealed even though I followed the canning directions. Although I'll admit that I'm not good at reading through directions or a recipe BEFORE I start, which sometimes leaves me very surprised that I was supposed to X before doing Y, or I need to do something with a certain ingredient before using it, and that's why the recipe or whatever I'm doing doesn't go quite according to plan. A long way to say, it was probably me and not the recipe or the directions for canning, or an equipment failure. Pilot error...

On to the garden.

I have two raised bed gardens since I can't be bothered, at least right now, with digging a garden. Also, I'm a reformed plant killer and two 4x8 raised beds makes gardening easy and there isn't too much space in which to kill things. I have one bed for tomatoes and green beans (OMG the beans are producing big time right now!) and one for all my herbs; some are perennial, like sage and thyme, and others are annual, like basil.  I also planted one lonely green pepper plant; I got a whole two peppers off of it so far!  Anyway, I normally plant jalapenos, but I ran out of room in the garden. I planted one plant in a large pot this year, and it's really taken off. I'm glad I planted only one, because I have a TON of jalapenos!

I made jalapeno poppers last year, and those were pretty good, but I wanted to do something different this year. I decided to try my hand at jelly-making! I have plenty of jelly jars I've never used. although I do use them for homemade seasoning mixes sometimes. But what kind of jelly should I make? Something with jalapenos obviously. I thought about what combo I like most when eating something hot and spicy and the answer was easy:  pineapple and jalapeno. I'm always buying pineapple salsa (probably next on my list to make since, as you can see, the tomatoes are starting to ripen), so it made sense to make pineapple jalapeno jelly.

As usual, there are tons of recipes for the same thing. This is the recipe I settled on:  Jalapeno Pineapple Jelly.  It's just pineapple, jalapenos, red pepper, white vinegar, a little salt, liquid pectin, and a TON of sugar, which explains the sugar content in just a small amount of jelly. (Large amounts of jam/jelly on a bagel is something I really miss after gastric bypass; I can eat it, but definitely not as much as I used to.) It made six 8 oz. jars.

The process was easy enough, but, man, was the kitchen HOT! Not only because I had to stand in front of the pot and stir constantly for 10 minutes once it got boiling, but because of the pepper fumes.  I made the mistake of leaning over the pot to enjoy the scent of peppers--bad idea! Don't do that! I also had to prepare the jars for canning. That was a little tedious, but only because I have a small kitchen and haven't done it in many years.

As you can see, Marty supervised the whole process and kept me on track. He was there from start to finish.

No special canning equipment needed other than the jar lifter (special tongs). You also need a wide-mouth funnel to make the process of putting the screaming hot jelly into the jars, but it's not a requirement; it just makes it much less messy. I used my huge stock pot and the rack from my Instant Pot as the insert to do the canning part.

Batch #1

The finished product is delicious! It gelled up just the way it should. It has some heat, but it's a pleasant amount of heat. It looks pretty, too. It's a golden yellow color with red and green specks of pepper (I chopped them in my mini food processor) with some little bits of pineapple. I really want to dive into the jar, but the sugar content works out to 21g for one ounce (and 84 calories)! One ounce of jelly is a lot, though--a more realistic serving size is probably half that. I just used ounces since it was easier for entering the recipe into My Fitness Pal.

Isn't it gorgeous?! Liquid gold!

Overall, the first run through was a bit tiring, but I did it again last night and it went much easier this time. I prepared all the peppers first, then prepared the canning jars and pot for canning, then did the cooking. It was still a very hot process, and the whole house smelled like peppers and vinegar (sorry, dear!), but I found it easier this time. This time I used my big food processor for the chopping and it came out chunkier. I like chunky, so I'll probably stick with using the big one. I found that the mini food processor kind of pulverized the peppers and pineapple. That's fine, though, if you like a smoother product.

Batch #2
The jars are still hot and steamed up. Plus my phone camera sucks sometimes.

Some of the jelly is going to a family member and the rest is staying with ME!! (It's shelf stable for about 18 months.) I'm thinking I'll need to mix some of this with cream cheese to make a dip, or spread for bagels or crackers. Crackers are probably a better bet since bagels are my kryptonite...

Next on the list:  strawberry jalapeno jelly, hot pepper jam (or jelly), and crab apple jelly (I have crab apple trees in my yard).

bulgarian mish mash--my version

Tis the season for fresh garden tomatoes! 

I used to be a tomato-hater, but in recent years I've begun to like them. So much so that I now grow them in my garden every year. I've got bunch growing now and a whole bunch that are ready to be used. What to do with all these tomatoes?

It used to be that I wouldn't eat tomatoes except in pasta sauce, salsa, and ketchup. I gradually started to enjoy them in their sundried form. Then eventually I would be OK with chopped tomatoes in a taco, although there better not be any seeds or tomato slime! I then moved up to tomatoes cooked on a pizza. One day I was brave enough to try caprese salad. I still hated sliced raw tomatoes; however, the addition of mozzarella cheese made it OK. I then decided I could deal with grape tomatoes, as long as they were with the mozzarella cheese. To this day, though, I still can't bring myself to eat a sliced raw tomato.

I've settled on a few ways to use up the tomatoes. The easiest is to make fresh salsa. It's so much better than the stuff in the jar! I just throw all the ingredients in the food processor, pulse it until it's the consistency I want, and it's done. I use my own tomatoes and jalapenos to make it. I used my own cilantro this year; however, my cilantro isn't doing well so it was kind of a one shot deal. I don't think I'll grow it again.

Another thing I make is caprese salad using the cherry and grape tomatoes I grow. I'm finding that I much prefer grape tomatoes, so I'm thinking of eliminated cherry next year and just growing grape.

And then there's this delicious dish: Bulgarian mish mash. A coworker told me how to make this; however, I've discovered that there are many variations for this and everyone makes it a little different. The base doesn't change, though: tomatoes, peppers, eggs and cheese. I made this last year, but never posted about it, so I figured I would this time around because it's so delicious and easy. I like to eat it with some crusty bread or maybe some crackers. It can be eaten anytime.

This is the base recipe I used, very loosely I might add: Bulgarian Vegetarian Mish Mash

Here's how I actually made mine (this makes about 8 one-cup servings):

2 TB olive oil
2 onions, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
2 red peppers, chopped
1 jalapeno, chopped (optional; remove the seeds)
2 cloves of garlic, minced
4 oz. roasted red peppers (jar), chopped
8 tomatoes, chopped (you can peel them if you want to, but don't have to)

Fresh parsley
Fresh basil
Fresh oregano
Dash of crushed red pepper flakes, optional
Pepper
4 eggs
8 oz. feta cheese, crumbled
Salt, only if needed (be very careful how much salt you use since the feta cheese is very salty)

In a pot on medium heat, sauté onions in the olive oil until they start to soften. Reduce heat to low and add green peppers, red peppers, jalapenos (if using) and garlic. Continue sautéing for about 15 minutes or until soft.

Add the tomatoes, roasted red peppers, and herbs. Cover and cook until the tomatoes break down and it looks like a stew. 

Add the eggs and stir until they dissolve into the tomato mixture. You will see pieces of egg white. This is normal. If you prefer, you can beat the eggs together before adding into the tomatoes. Feel free to add more or less to make it thinner or thicker.

Remove from the heat and add the cheese, pepper, red pepper flakes (if using) and salt, if needed.

Notes: 

1. I used fresh herbs, because I have them in my garden. I used very roughly about 2 TB of each, but add whatever you like, to taste. Used dried herbs if that's what you have; however, if using dried herbs, make sure you reduce the amount you use since the flavor is much stronger than fresh herbs.
2. You can use any hard cheese you like, but I find that feta gives it a lot more flavor. Just make sure you use a cheese that doesn't melt, otherwise it all just disappears into the mix.  The standard cheese is a Bulgarian cheese called "sirene", but I don't know if that's something readily available.
3. You can cook this to whatever consistency you like. I prefer it more like a stew, whereas my coworker likes it more chunky.

 

salmon with lemon and fresh dill

I've been wanting to try my hand at cooking salmon for several years, but never quite gathered enough courage (or motivation, really) to do it. Until recently.

I planted a raised-bed garden this year, which is entirely herbs. (The other bed is tomatoes and green beans.) I decided I would plant dill this year, since it's something I like, but wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to buy fresh at the store. Last year I was able to buy it from a little farm market my neighbor runs out of his garage, which was really convenient. I figured it would be even more convenient if I grew it myself. Great idea, but I neglected to look to see how tall this plant grows--it's about 5 1/2 feet tall right now! Not only that, but it grew VERY quickly.  So, that means I have A LOT of dill. And a little dill goes a very long way, which means I need to find a way to use this stuff.  I also have a parsley plant I wanted to start using.

See my pretty tomatoes and beans!? Also a jalapeno, which I'm growing in a pot this year.

One day I got brave and bought a package of individually frozen salmon fillets. (I didn't want to shell out a bunch of money on fresh and then ruin it.) They were the perfect size:  4 ounces cooked.  I also grabbed some lemons, since I know that lemon, dill and parsley go well together.

All I needed now was a (easy) recipe.  I found many that called for making a cream sauce. I wouldn't mind that, as it looked pretty easy, but I didn't want to have to buy more ingredients, like heavy cream.  I found one that called for lemon slices, fresh dill and parsley, olive oil, and salt and pepper. Basically, you just put it all on the fillet and then bake it, uncovered, for 10 minutes or until it's done. That's it!

I made the recipe as-is, which called for putting the lemon slices on top of the salmon, then adding all the other ingredients. It seemed strange to me that the flavorings, other than the lemon, wouldn't touch the fish, but I made the recipe anyway. It was good, but I was right in thinking the order of ingredients strange. I didn't taste anything other than lemon and the olive oil. Next time I make this I will add all the flavorings and then add the lemon as the last item.

I have to say, I really loved the fact that the fillet was exactly the right portion size. Not a bit of it went to waste or got packed as leftovers. (As a matter of fact, there was only a bite or two left, which was awarded to Leia, my ginger girl.) I feel like I never finish a meal due to the weight loss surgery, which means I always bring food home from the restaurant, have a bunch of leftovers at home, or it just goes to waste because it's something my husband won't eat. And if I do finish, it's because I've cooked myself about a half of a portion, or I got soup or an appetizer only when eating out. This is something that is still hard for me as a post-op, but that's life now.

taste test: Swell Ice Cream

I've tried some of the other high protein, low sugar ice creams, like Halo Top and Enlightened, and wasn't all that impressed. I posted about it last year. 

Recently I found out about Swell. It used to be ProYo, but it has been rebranded to Swell.

I tried three flavors:  Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip, Mint Chip, and Dark Chocolate Toffee. No, I didn't need to buy three pints of ice cream, but someone had to.

Each ice cream averages about 120 calories per half cup serving, 1-2 grams of fat, 9 grams of sugar, 10 grams of protein, and about 19-20 grams of carbs. They also contain sugar alcohols. If anyone is sensitive to that, make sure you take a test bite or two before diving in. Xylitol and cane sugar look to be the sweeteners of choice. 

Here are my thoughts about each flavor.

Mint Chip:  This was my favorite, probably because mint chocolate chip was my favorite flavor for most of my life. Again, good texture and taste. Very minty and there were a good amount of mini chocolate chips that were REAL. 

Dark Chocolate Toffee: I liked this one and would buy it again. It actually tastes like chocolate. There are small bits of toffee, but they're fairly few and far between. I'd like to see more, but I guess if more were added, the calories and sugar content wouldn't be quite as low. Update:  I was enjoying some of this right from the container while writing this and I found a BIG chunk of crunchy, gooey toffee towards the bottom. YUM! It was the only one that wasn't tiny.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip:  I liked this one, too, and would buy it again. I liked the bits of peanut butter. They're very small, but I can actually see them rather than just taste a hint of peanut butter like some of the other brands. Texture is good, too.

Just like the other ice creams I tasted previously, this melts quickly, but I don't care since I'm eating it from a dish and not a cone.  But if you're craving a cone, eat that thing fast. Be warned!

I mentioned sugar alcohols earlier. For some reason, this ice cream doesn't bother me the way the other brands did. I found I was able to eat the serving size and I felt OK.

Just like all the other high protein ice creams--actually most premium ice creams, now that I think about it--it's not cheap. Normal price in my store is $4.99 per pint; however, it happened to be on sale when I bought it so I got it for $3.50. And since this will last me quite awhile, I don't think that's a bad price. I'm no longer sitting down to eat a whole pint at once like I did pre-surgery. (Gotta admit, I really miss that sometimes. I don't miss the 130+ extra pounds on me, though.) One thing I want to mention in regards to keeping it in the freezer for awhile:  I feel like this type of ice cream forms freezer burn faster than regular ice cream, so you might want to lay a piece of plastic wrap over the ice cream (so it's touching the ice cream) after you scoop in order to block the air, and then put the lid on.

Something I like about this ice cream, other than the truer flavor and better texture, is the fact that most if not all of the ingredients are recognizable. For example, the Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip contains:  skim milk, whey protein concentrate, xylitol, cane sugar, inulin (not sure what this is), semi-sweet chocolate (sugar, unsweetened chocolate, butter), peanut butter (roasted peanuts, sugar, peanut oil, salt), natural flavors, and salt.

As a whole, I enjoy this product more than Halo Top and Enlightened. It just more like real ice cream to me. I mean, sure, it's not Ben & Jerry's or Haagen-Dazs, but it's good for what it is. I mentioned this previously when I posted about Halo and Enlightened, but it bears repeating:  this is not Ben & Jerry's. The reason I'm mentioning it again is because there's always that one person who will say, "This doesn't taste like Ben & Jerry's. :( "  No shit, Sherlock! That's because it's not. It's high protein ice cream with a lower fat content, somewhat different ingredients, and a lot less calories.

Anyway, I'll be sure to post if I try any other flavors.

a night with my favorite authors

Several weeks ago I met my favorite authors:  Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. I've been waiting so long to meet them, and the stars finally aligned to make it happen!

They were doing a book signing and a short Q&A at the Mark Twain House, which is only 30 minutes away. I've been waiting for what feels like forever to be able to attend one of their signings. Every time they had a book tour, the nearest stop was usually in New York and I couldn't get the time off from work to go, or it was in Connecticut and I was either out of town, had to work, or just couldn't go for whatever reason. Finally the stars aligned this year and I was able to go. The ticket was $25.00 and that included a hardcover copy of their new book, The Pharoah Key, which they would sign after the Q&A session. I saw the event pop up on my Facebook feed, and I immediately bought two tickets, not even knowing who would go with me yet. As it turned out, I had to go alone. My husband ended up having to work and my friend was sick. I still had a good time, though. I ended up selling the extra book to someone on Facebook who couldn't make it.

These guys write thrillers and often write as a team, although they do write solo novels, as well. My brother turned me onto them years ago when I was looking for some book suggestions--I could always count on him for good book recommendations. I've read pretty much every book they've written with the exception of their non-fiction books and one of their series.

My favorite books are from the Pendergast series. The first book I read from these authors, part of the Pendergast series, was Still Life With Crows. This was my first introduction to FBI Special Agent A.X.L. Pendergast.  He's an agent like no other:  not only is he an FBI agent that mostly takes only the cases that interest him--for the annual salary of $1.00--, he's former U.S. Special Forces; comes from old New Orleans money; splits his time in New York City between his dark mansion and his apartment; is chauffeured about town in a 1959 Rolls-Royce Silver Wraith; has mastered multiple languages, martial arts, and combat techniques; is a Doctor of Philosophy; and is almost albino in color and dresses like an undertaker--always a black suit. Also, he can get himself out of any situation imaginable. I found this neat little website that talks about Pendergast, his interests, family history, etc. While reading this book I remember being amused at how fussy and particular this guy was:  he had all of his favorite foods and drinks (caviar; absinthe, which he drinks the French way), books and furnishings shipped to the town in which he was staying while working on the case. I remember  thinking, "Who the hell is this guy??" Anyway, I've read every book in the Pendergast series, and they just can't publish them fast enough for me! I just finished City of Endless Night, which I enjoyed. I now have to wait all the way until November until the next one...

Preston and Child have another series, the Gideon Crew series, which I haven't read yet. The Pharoah Key is the last book in this series, and is the one they gave us at the book signing. I'm thinking this series is next on my list while await another Pendergast book. Actually, I did read one book in the series, Beyond the Ice Limit, mainly because it was the sequel to another book of theirs, The Ice Limit, that didn't feature Gideon Crew. (I have to say, the "creature" in Beyond the Ice Limit really freaked me the hell out. Deep water scares me to begin with--I actually have a physical reaction--but imaging this thing in my head was too much at times. Basically it's this thing, but underwater and...living...OK onto something else!)

The Q&A was interesting. They talked about the idea for The Pharaoh Key, which actually came about around 20 years ago while Douglas Preston was at an archaeological dig in Egypt. They talked about adventures in writing as a team and how they accomplish that, where the ideas for characters come from, etc. I enjoyed it. They're very funny, down to earth guys. 

Once it was over the assistants  had us line up in the lobby to have our book signed. They gave us a sticky note, on which we had to write our name and/or desired inscription, and then place it on the title page. It took maybe 20 minutes to get through the line, which wasn't bad at all. A couple people asked to take a picture with them and they obliged (wish I'd done that!). A couple others brought a few other books to be signed and they were OK with that. While I was waiting in line I was planning what to say and how to say it; I didn't want to be a star-struck babbling idiot. I ended up thanking them for coming to CT, and telling them how much I love their books and that they just can't publish them fast enough or make them long enough for me. I told them 1,200 pages would be just about right. Lincoln winked at me and said I'd be waiting about three years for every book if they did that. I also told them that it was all my brother's fault that I started reading their books, because he's the one that turned me onto them and it's him I have to thank. They said to tell my brother that he has impeccable taste in books and to thank him for making the recommendation all those years ago. I didn't have the heart to tell them he passed away last year, so I just smiled and said I would make sure to tell him. I imagine he was there with me, so he knows.

And that's it. It was over just like that. Less than two hours. But it was SO worth it to finally meet the guys that keep the Kindle app fired up and the pages turning.

life lately

Figured it's time for an update-type post, since it's been a while. (Actually it's been awhile since my last post, in general.)

Books

I had a different post planned for this; however, I'm writing it up separately, as it's turning out to be much longer than I had originally planned. Here's the teaser:  I recently met my favorite authors!

What I'll write here instead is that I've recently discovered Good Reads. Yes, I know, it's been around for a long time, but I just recently discovered the value in it:  I can actually keep track of the books I've read. I know, that's not exactly groundbreaking, but it's so useful!  I've read so many books over the years that I'm at a point where I can't remember if I've read a book or not. Quite often lately I've downloaded a book, only to discover I've already read it (my memory sucks, so I don't always realize I've read something just by the synopsis).

I use several methods for getting books: 

• Kindle app for Android:  I've abandoned hard-copy books forever, and I read exclusively on my phone. This is my app of choice for reading. Although I buy books from Amazon sometimes, I always check the library and Kindle Unlimited first; books aren't cheap! 
• Kindle Unlimited:  It's $9.99 a month and you can read as many books as you like. I'll admit this isn't my favorite option since most of the authors I like don't have titles here; however, I've found that it's a great way to discover new authors and it only costs me the monthly fee. If I decide I don't like a book I've downloaded, I just "return" it and find something else.
• Overdrive:  This is an app for my phone, which allows me to borrow ebooks from any libraries for which I have a library card. I can usually find a lot of the books I want to read, but it's definitely hit or miss, just like Kindle Unlimited.

I'd joined Good Reads a couple years ago, but really didn't do anything with it. I'd added some friends and see emails coming in from time to time, telling me that Jane recommended I read this book, or John has finished reading that book. I just took a quick glance at the emails and deleted them. Recently, however, I discovered that I could mark all the books I've read as "read," tag books I want to read, and keep track of my reading progress on current books. What's nice, too, are the book recommendation from friends--I've found a few gems this way.

Over the last several weeks I've made an effort to add all the books I've read, which wasn't easy since some I'd read through Overdrive, some through the Kindle app, and some in hard-copy format (I was the geek that carried around The Stand by Stephen King, which was 1,200+ pages and hardcover, during my junior year of high school...in addition to all my books and notebooks). The ones on Kindle were easy, since I could check my order history, or they'd somehow been linked to Good Reads--not sure what magic made that possible. Overdrive wasn't that difficult, either, since I could check my history there, too. But remembering all the hard-copies I've read was tough. In the end my list of "read" books is at 109 right now, but I'm sure I missed some.

Here's a screen shot of my "read" page.

As for what I'm reading, I'm currently reading The Fallen by David Baldacci. It's part of the Memory Man series. The protagonist is a man, Amos Decker, who played pro football, but took a major hit to the head during his first pro game. It resulted in two conditions:  Synesthesia (linking objects with sensory perception, such as seeing the number 4 as the color brown) and hypertymesia (basically, a perfect autobiographical memory). I'm about halfway through and I'm enjoying it. (This author was a recommendation from my late brother--he had great taste in books!)

I've also a number of books to my "want to read" list. Thanks to some suggestions from a blog I read, the list is growing. I've added a bunch of pandemic/apocalypse-type books, which is my current obsession. I also like genres like thriller, murder mystery, horror (along the lines of Stephen King), suspense, books with a small sci-fi or paranormal element (although not full-on sci-fi or paranormal), FBI/CIA/Secret Service thrillers, and other similar genres. I like the classics, too. I'm not really a fan of non-fiction, as I really like to just get lost in a book:  I don't analyze it--I just read it. Romance, fantasy and sci-fi aren't much to my taste, either.

If anyone has recommendations for me, please comment below. (Bonus points for books that take place in the 1800s or earlier! Extra bonus points if there are more than 800 pages--I love a huge book!)

Here's a shot of my "want to read" list.

Cats

Four of my kitties are at the vet today for their annual checkup and vaccinations. Lucky for me it's the youngest ones (Marty, Leia, Arlo and Emily), which means the bill shouldn't be big due to unexpected issues. Most of my cats are older, so more often than not I'm told that something is off in their blood work, or someone is losing weight, or has some other issue. Dental issues are the most common, and those can be really expensive. I'm hoping this visit will be relatively inexpensive and uneventful. I'm bringing all four of them at once and "parking" them for the day. My vet calls it "cat parking" and that just means I drop them in the morning and they get seen at some point during the day, then I pick them up at night. Luckily it's been uneventful this year with the cats.

Marty

Leia

Emily

Arlo

As you can see. Emily and Arlo are siblings and look like twins. The only way to tell them apart is Arlo has some white on his belly and Emily's tail is bent at the tip--not really something you can tell when they're running around, so I often confuse them.

Back Pain

Well, it is what it is. I had my last round of cortisone injections a couple months ago and it took about three weeks for them to wear off. I have the option of going towards the end of summer, but I'm going to wait and see how I feel. For the amount of money it costs (after insurance) and the amount of time they last, it's not worth it right now. I'm managing, just like I have been for almost a year now. I take a half a Percocet at night when I really need something more than acetaminophen. I feel the worst when I'm sitting, but I just try to get up more often. I feel best when I'm working out, which is a good thing. If I couldn't work out I'd likely regain a lot of weight. There are some exercises I can't/shouldn't do, but I still get a really good workout.

Nutrition and Working Out

I'm doing...OK...with my nutrition. I wish I was doing better, but I'm trying. I've started logging my food again, which is really important. I will show it to my trainer each week, which will make me stay on track. I really don't want to show him a journal that lists a bunch of junk food!

My trainer seems to be upping my workouts lately. The last two weeks he's introduced new exercises, which has made my workouts more tiring. But that's a good thing! He added some squats with a dumbbell press (two 10lb dumbbells), lunging while holding a 10lb dumbbell over my head (that was a load of fun...), and a couple other things. I like it, though, because it reinvigorates me--I get tired of the same routine.

Work

UGH. I wish I had something good to say here. Actually, I wish I wasn't even including it here, but it's part of "life lately." I found out recently that my company is being acquired, and I'm not happy about it at all. I've been there for almost four years and I'm happy there.  The culture is great:  fairly relaxed (for a bank), business casual dress, no slackers, great work/life balance, and lots of extracurricular activities. My boss leaves me alone to do my work and treats me like an adult. I can pretty much come and go as I please, and have the option to work from home if I need to for whatever reason. Benefits are great. I have an awesome team that just magically does what they're supposed to do and does it right. We also have a gym, which is only two doors down from my office. This is what I'll probably miss the most, actually. I typically get to work by 7:30 am, I eat my lunch at my desk, disappear into the gym around 4 pm, and then go home when I'm done. I find that having the gym right there is what keeps me consistently working out. It's really going to be tough losing that.

That week was tough and sad. I was thrown into a state of uncertainty, which I really have a hard time with. I actually like a lot of change, as that's what keeps things fresh and challenging, and it's how you grow and learn. What I don't like is not knowing what's going to happen next. Everything is up in the air at the moment. I have no idea yet as to whether I'll get a job offer from the new bank. If I do, it's very likely that job will be almost an hour away since that's where their operations center is.  I've done that commute and I truly don't want to do it again. It's very possible I won't get an offer, though, which means another job search. If I don't get an offer, will I get a good severance package? I'll also need to figure out what I want to do. Do I want to go for the same job I have now? Something similar, but somewhat different? What are my deal-breakers and must-haves? I'm hoping we know something soon, as being in limbo really sucks.

Well, there you have it. This is what's been going on lately. Happy 4th of July, everyone!

This is not one of my cats. I found this online at
http://fortheloveofcatsfl.com.

the post-op life: things i wish i knew beforehand, continued

Grand Canyon, taken in 2008

Just like when I go to the grocery store and realize that I bought wraps, but no lunch meat or lettuce to put in the wrap, I posted about the things I wish I knew before weight loss surgery and forgot several things. Such is life.

Here are a few more I thought of after I posted last time.  Again, these are things that I either didn't know, or my doctor didn't tell me and I had to figure it out myself through experience or online forums, or that he told me without going into depth.

Pain medications may not work as well after surgery.

(Note:  I don't know if this applies to all weight loss surgery, or just gastric bypass (which is what I had), so this may not apply to some people.)

This is a tough one. I definitely didn't know this ahead of time, and no one told me.  I was, however,  told I couldn't take NSAIDs, such as ibuprofen or aspirin, anymore, because they weaken the stomach's ability to make acid, which can lead to ulcers.  I figured I'd just be taking acetaminophen instead. No big deal. I took that before surgery with no issues and it worked for me. And anytime I need a pain reliever these days, that's what I take. I find, however, that it isn't as effective as it used to be. It kicks in fast, but it doesn't work nearly as long as it used to, which usually leads to me having to take more. I worry about liver damage, so most of the time I try to just ride out whatever is bothering me, such as a minor headache. Sometimes, though, I really need something more. I'll either take three acetaminophen (I know, I know--I'm not supposed to take more than the dosage), or I'll throw caution to the wind and take two ibuprofen. I try not to take them, since  but sometimes I need to. I try to limit to no more than once a month or so, and only when I really need it. My orthopedic doctor prescribed Celebrex for my back problems, which is supposed to be taken daily; however, for a long time I took it for a few days, skipped a few days, and then started again. I was worried about ulcers. My new bariatric doctor told me to take Protonix (it reduces the production of stomach acid) each day I take a Celebrex and I should have no issues, so that's what I'm doing now.

Also, if you've had gastric bypass, prescription pain meds, like Vicodin or Percocet, can hit you much harder than before surgery. I found this out the hard way when I took liquid Roxicet for some pain I was having. I wasn't far out from gastric bypass surgery (maybe a few months?) and I still had the Roxicet that was prescribed to me, which I never used, so I decided to use it. (I think I was having back pain at the time.) Knowing that the pain meds could hit me harder now, I took half the recommended dose (2 tsp. was the prescribed dose and I took 1 tsp.). Well, that was too much--about twice what I could handle. Basically, I was really worried that I'd die in my sleep because of how it made me feel--stabbing stomach pains, very lethargic, blurred vision, dizziness, slowed heartbeat and breathing), and my husband was asking if he should call 911; I'm pretty sure he watched me for awhile before going back to sleep. I was fine after about a half hour, but it was very scary.

Now, anytime I have to take a narcotic, or anything else that's prescribed, I start with about 1/4 of the recommended dose until I know how it affects me. I've learned that half of a 5/325 Percocet is just right. Anything more and it completely knocks me out, but not before giving me an awful stomach ache. The one GOOD thing about this?  A prescription for 20 Percocet pills lasts me more than a month, assuming I take half each night. And since I only take it when I truly need it--because Tylenol isn't working--it lasts me way longer than that.

If you want to move to a different bariatric surgeon's office after surgery, it's going to be very difficult.

I found this one out the hard way, too, and it's something that never would have crossed my mind to ask. Although people may switch primary care doctors, eye doctors, dentists, etc., most people don't switch bariatric surgeons after surgery.

A little less than a year after my weight loss surgery, I decided to move to a different part of the state. I stayed with my surgeon, though, because I was happy with him and had no reason to switch. Sure, it was a pain in the ass having to drive almost an hour to his office, but I was OK with it since it was only going to be once per year. I went to my one year follow-up about six months after I moved and noticed that every single employee in the office, except the doctor, was new. I thought that was a little strange. It seemed as though he did a complete house cleaning, but I didn't ask.  Not my business. A few months later I went for my annual blood work, and never heard another word. I was annoyed, but figured the results showed no issues and that's why they didn't call me to discuss. Then another few months go by and I get a letter in the mail that the practice had been sold to a surgical franchise and my doctor moved to Texas to teach...two months prior! It was frustrating to not know ahead of time, but I rolled with it. When it was time for another annual checkup I started looking into the new practice and, surprisingly, it isn't focused on bariatric patients. They do some bariatric surgery, but it seems that facial plastic surgery--cosmetic stuff--is their main focus. I decided I really didn't want to go there, and the drive was a PITA anyway, so I started looking for a surgeon in my area. 

Finding a surgeon that would take a post-op patient was extremely frustrating and near-impossible. It took me over a year to find someone that would take me. To be fair, I started and stopped looking several times because of the frustration, or just because I didn't want to deal with it and I didn't have any issues I needed to follow up on. I was told by everyone that they're accepting only pre-ops--people who are looking to get weight loss surgery. I got the impression that they really aren't interested in post-ops. I got serious last year and finally found someone that would review my file and possibly take me. I emailed back and forth with the surgical program (not the doctor's office directly) and they had me get my files sent to them from the old doctor. I sent my files over and then...nothing. For months. I followed up earlier this year and it turns out the person I sent my files to left shortly thereafter and my files never made it to the doctor. They went searching and found them. I was told to give them a couple weeks to have the doctor review them and they would call me to schedule an appointment. They didn't call, of course.  I had to call them. (But that's always the way with doctors' offices so it didn't really bother me.) I called and they said they'll take me, and I scheduled an appointment.

I went for that appointment a few weeks ago and I really like the new doctor. He spent at least 30 minutes with me (almost unheard of with any doctor nowadays!) and went over my file, my current health, etc. Asked lots of questions, and gave me time to ask my own questions, which was nice. He explained anything that needed explaining. He ordered bariatric blood work, which is way more detailed than standard blood work. (As opposed to the lab drawing one or two vials of blood, bariatric blood work requires usually seven to nine vials.) During the visit I thanked him for taking me on as a new patient and explained the difficulty I had in finding someone who would take me. He confirmed my suspicions and told me that the money isn't in the post-op care, it's in the surgery itself, and lots of doctors don't want to bother with a post-op patient. He said he's probably giving me too much information, but wanted to explain. I wasn't surprised and I was happy he told me that.

I now know that if I ever move again, I am probably going to have a really tough time finding another bariatric doctor. But I don't plan on moving, so hopefully that will never come up.

I feel like I could talk forever about the reality of the post-op life, but I think this will do it for now.

the post-op life: things i wish i knew beforehand

This is going to be another long one.

What I'm talking about today are the things I wish I knew, or knew more about, before I had weight loss surgery. I don't mean that I regret having done it--I think it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself.  What is mean is that there are things I didn't know ahead of time that I had to figure out all on my own, either because I didn't think to ask the doctor or it just wasn't part of my pre-op program (every weight loss surgery program is different, which is pretty frustrating and confusing sometimes), or I knew and didn't think it would be a big deal. So, I've thought about it and here's my list of things I wish I knew (or knew more about):


Physical complications are drastically different from person to person, and are sometimes non-existent.

Physical complications or issues can cover a large range of things, such as:  getting certain foods stuck, either because they're dry (like chicken or turkey), or you took too big of a bite, or didn't chew well enough; being unable to eat certain foods because they get stuck, don't digest well, upset the new stomach, or cause reactive hypoglycemia or dumping syndrome; anemia; vitamin deficiencies; excessive hair loss; excessive weight loss (meaning a person is underweight); strictures; ulcers; and other complications.

I'd heard horror stories, both in person and in online forums, from a lot of people about how they can't eat certain foods anymore, like raw veggies, or most meats, or they throw up after every meal. I was nervous going into surgery and truly worried I'd never be able to have steak again. While that can be true for a lot of people, I am one of the lucky ones in that I have virtually no physical/food issues. I've never had food get stuck, there are no foods that upset my stomach, and I don't have any ulcers. I'm sensitive to sugar, just like other gastric bypass patients, but I manage it and am careful to check labels. I don't count that as a "complication," as it's something that is universal for people that have had gastric bypass. Also, I've finally figured out, after almost five years, that I get blood sugar drops when I eat carbs like crackers, Chex Mix, chips, and things like that without eating some protein along side of it. The simple solution is that I either avoid those foods, or I add some protein if I do have them. They're really not foods I need to be eating anyway so I try to limit them, but I've said before that I choose to eat whatever I want as long as it's in moderation. I don't tell myself that I'm "not allowed" to have something, because that just makes me want it more. (The one thing I avoid, though, is soda. I don't ever want to get back into the habit of drinking six cans of diet soda per day.) Sometimes I get acid reflux, but I've figured out that as long as I don't eat close to bedtime, and I limit spicy foods, I don't get it. Again, I don't consider this a "complication," since most people who get reflux, regardless of whether they've had weight loss surgery, have to manage it.


The psychological part is usually much more difficult than any physical complication. 

This was especially true for me. When it comes to the physical part, I feel it was a breeze for me, and it still is. The psychological part, though, is so hard, even after almost five years. It's much better now than it was the first year, but I still struggle with the disappointment of not being able to finish my meal (that sounds ridiculous now that I see it in writing), as I'm someone who lives to eat, rather than eats to live. I wish that changed after surgery, but it didn't.

Although doctors talk about this and how WLS patients need to learn to cope with their emotions without food, learn new habits, think about food differently, etc., I don't feel that doctors do nearly enough to truly help someone to prepare for the reality. Yes, it's on the patient to actually do these things and take the initiative, but part of that is just knowing that these things need to be dealt with. I think more counseling beforehand, and required counseling after surgery, is needed. Obviously I can only speak to the program I went through since every doctor is different, but I can definitely say that I was nowhere near prepared for the psychological part of WLS. I was required to go to only three counseling appointments before surgery, and nothing afterwards. Also, support groups are sometimes lacking. The hospital had a regular support group, but the discussion was dominated by the same two people every month, so I stopped going; I really didn't get anything out of it. My doctor's office had a support group when they felt like it, which I liked, but it wasn't held with any regularity. And those same two people were patients of my doctor, so they went to this same group and again dominated the discussions.

Also, eating will be different. Very different.

I'm not talking about portions, really, but the psychological aspect of it. Before surgery, eating and food was: a job to be completed ("I bought this package of cookies and my job is to eat them all until they're gone"); comfort; happiness; reward; something to do and a fun activity; love; or companionship. After surgery, it's supposed to be a source of survival and we're supposed to find all those things, like comfort, reward, etc. from other things. Often, though, it's just not that simple. For some it is, but not for me. I spent many, many years seeing food as all those things I mentioned. It wasn't easy to have to look at it as simply a means for survival and nourishment. It was so, so hard in the very beginning to take some food and then be full after three bites. Eventually I could eat more--I can now finish half a hamburger and a couple fries, or eat about five ounces of meat--but even after all this time, the act of eating still feels incomplete. The only time I don't feel that way is when I'm actually able to finish my portion, and that only happens when I have a yogurt, or onion soup, and things like that. It's so frustrating and disappointing--STILL, after almost five years!--to sit down to a meal, start to really enjoy it, and then BOOM I'm full. I can slow down, of course, but years of scarfing my food down are hard to undo. This is something I wish someone told me. I wouldn't have decided against surgery, but I would have started BEFORE surgery trying to get comfort or reward in other ways so it wouldn't be so damn hard afterwards.


Once you lose the weight, you'll need to work just as hard as everyone else to maintain it, if not harder.

OK, this one I pretty much assumed, but I didn't realize how much harder it would be than what I originally thought--and this really applies to anyone losing weight, regardless of the method.  Also, I'm including it because I've come across many people who don't realize this when they start talking about having weight loss surgery.  They think it's a magic wand that solves all their eating and weight issues, that they'll never have to work again at losing weight and that the weight will just magically stay off. I've overhead people say, "I'll just get weight loss surgery. It's so much easier and I won't have to work so hard."  Oh, and that they'll get to their goal with no effort. Not true. Well, let's restate that:  it's not true once you're out of the "honeymoon phase." The honeymoon phase is that fabulous first six months (could be longer, but usually about six months) where the weight just melts off with seemingly no effort on your part. You don't exercise? No problem, the weight still comes off. You have a binge day (considerably different than pre-WLS!)? You'll probably still lose a pound or two that week. It's fabulous; you can do no wrong...and that lulls you into a false sense of security and makes you think you'll never have to truly work at it. And then when you truly DO have to work at it, it makes it that much harder to change your mindset. So, losing it is hard, but keeping it off is so much harder.


Having weight loss surgery isn't going to magically turn you into a workout maniac or give you an endless supply of energy.

Yes, lots of people who lose weight, through any means, turn into people who just LOVE to workout and are always going going going; those people really annoy me. Deeply. But if varies from person to person.

So, energy. If you were naturally a low-energy person before weight loss, chances are you'll continue to be a low-energy person afterwards. I would say I had a lot of energy the first year and maybe the second year, too. I think it was because I felt a lot lighter and no longer had to carry around 130 extra pounds. After that, though, I slowed down closer to what I was before surgery. While I no longer feel lethargic and unmotivated--a total slug--like I did before I lost the weight, it does take an effort for me to get myself going sometimes.

In terms of working out, I did not become someone who loves working out and finds every opportunity to do so. It took me until March of 2016, so about 2.5 years, to finally seriously think about exercise.  For 2.5 years it was something that I knew I should do, but I'd lost the weight, so why did I need to do it? I was looking at exercise as a means for further weight loss, not what it actually is:  a means to a healthier, stronger body. Part of what got me seriously thinking about it is that I'd regained about 29 pounds. The other part is that I wanted to get the excess skin removed, which meant I needed to be at my lowest weight possible. I tried a few times to start on my own; however, the only thing that finally got me doing it was to go to a personal trainer. Yes, it's expensive, but there was a Groupon offered for the studio, which gave me five sessions for $100.00, which is insanely cheap. I then signed up to go twice a week (working out three days on my own), and then eventually cut down to once a week (working out four days on my own) once the trainer felt I'd be able to stick with it. It took me two years, but I'm finally at the point where I never miss working out unless I'm sick, in pain, or on vacation (and even then I try to work out at the hotel or wherever I am). That's partially because it's a waste of money to pay a trainer and not work out on my own the other days of the week; you're not going to get very far if you workout once a week. Plus I feel guilty if I skip for no good reason, and I typically don't do that. Also, my trainer knows if I haven't been working out as much as I should. He can tell what I'm doing at home, and how often, based on how I do when he sees me each week. He notices when I'm struggling, or when the things he has me do seem easy for me. Without that accountability, I wouldn't stick with it. I posted  a lot more about it a couple weeks ago. So, yeah, even though I've lost 130+ pounds and have been working out five days a week for two years, I totally have to drag my ass into the gym most days.


Just because you have a tiny stomach after surgery, doesn't mean you can't gain the weight back.

I kind of knew this one, too, and it was only from reading WLS forums online, but maybe not to the extent I should have known.  The doctor mentioned being careful about weight gain, but never said, "Hey, you can still eat six slices of pizza as long as you space them out."

I've heard from lots of people, both people who are considering WLS and those who are simply talking with me about my own surgery. So many people think that tiny stomach=no possible way to overeat. That's true--partially. It's true that it's difficult to overeat in one sitting in a way that you would start to regain the weight. BUT--and it's a big one--all that means is your physical capacity to overeat is limited in ONE sitting. If you order a cheeseburger and eat half now, you'll very likely be able to finish that cheeseburger an hour or two later (timing varies a lot from person to person), then go back in another hour and eat something else, and so on. That could add up to MANY sittings per day. And what you eat matters, too. If you eat a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese, that's about 80 calories and you're full. But if you eat a muffin, that's often anywhere from 300 calories to upwards of 600 calories depending on how big it is. You're still full, but it's way more calories than you should be eating in one meal. (Actually, that's about 1/3 to 1/2 the day's calories for some WLS post-ops.)  So, if you're going back to eat something every hour or two, and it's something loaded with calories, you can very easily gain the weight back. That's why drinking water when you're not eating is important--it keeps you from feeling hungry. Plus, everyone needs water.

Hopefully you've managed to read this far down. If you've made it, thank you! I really wish I knew if anyone who reads my blog wants to have WLS, or has had it. If so and you want to ask me anything, go right ahead. I'm pretty much an open book.