"i could do anything": meaningful work

It just occurred to me that I can't label my posts "exercise 1," "exercise 2," etc., because in each chapter the numbers start back a 1.  So, I'll write the name of the exercise.

This chapter is about trying to find out what's stopping me from figuring out what I want to do.  Being "stuck," in other words.  It talks about the difference between a "job" and "work."  Barbara Sher, the author, says a "job" just pays the rent, while "work" is something that feels worth doing.  It's meaningful in some way.  I'd say a better term for "work" would be "career."

The first exercise in the chapter tells me to write down what I think "meaningful work" is.  Then I'm supposed to write down the names of people whose lives seems especially significant and explain why.

Here we go.

Meaningful work:

1. Makes me feel like I'm making a difference in the company
2. Helping people understand and get the information they need
3. Gets my blood flowing
4. Makes me want to go to work
5. Makes me feel like I'm invested in the company and that my work is helping to move the company forward
6. Challenges me and stretches me

I don't get any of these from my current job, unfortunately.  This shows me, in black and white, that I'm in the wrong job.

Significant people:

1. Former CEO of my old bank:  tried to make a difference in the community by providing something that was missing; serves as a deacon in his church
2. My bariatric surgeon:  changing people's lives, restoring them to good health and raising their self esteem
3. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, and Mother Theresa, for obvious reasons
  

sun-dried tomato and feta egg bites

I made these egg bites last night.  I didn't follow a recipe.  I just tossed some ingredients together.  They're good, but I think they need more feta cheese.  I didn't taste it really.  Needs more sun-dried tomatoes, too.  I guess that's what I get for just tossing it together all willy-nilly.

I used 5 eggs, tossed in about 3/4 cup of green onions, about 3/4 cup Mediterranean flavor feta cheese, about 1/4 cup chopped sun-dried tomatoes in oil (drained), and some ground pepper.  I baked them for 20 minutes at 350.

homemade chicken fingers

Last night I made chicken fingers and, boy, were they good!  I just seasoned some flour with my new favorite seasoned salt, A.A. Borsari, and some pepper.  I dredged the tenders in the flour, dipped them in egg, then back into the flour.  Then I fried them in vegetable oil for a few minutes on each side.  I served them with Ken's Honey Mustard Dressing and Sweet Baby Ray's Barbecue Sauce, two of my favorites.  I was only able to eat 1 1/2 tenders; they were pretty big.

I just realized this looks like two eyes with eyebrows. LOL

I wish I were a cat

I wish I could be home doing this right now.  Max has the life!  Actually this is how I feel after having my lunch today.  My homemade chicken salad on some seeded crackers. Delicious!

"i could do anything": exercise 1

As I mentioned earlier last week, I'm in a tough position:  I took the wrong job and I'm miserable.  What I thought I wanted, isn't what I want.  And I'm not sure how to figure out what I want.  But I know it's not what I'm doing now.

Last week I started reading a book, I Could Do Anything, if Only I Knew What it Was.  I'm reading it in order to help me figure out what I want to do next in terms of my career.  It has lots of exercises that are supposed to help me figure it all out, so I've decided I'm going to share my experience here on my blog.

Chapter 1 is all about the messages we receive from other people during childhood and how they shape us.  Those messages tell us who we're supposed to be and that's how people sometimes end up picking jobs or careers that make them unhappy.  Often those messages contradict each other.  For example, your mom might tell you that you shouldn't draw attention to yourself, but then goes on to always tell you how talented a dancer you are and you should perform in the Rockettes.

Exercise 1 says to write down a list of people that lived in my house during my childhood, my family, friends, and other important people in my life, such as a teacher or coach or spouse.  Anyone who had any impact on my life.  I then have to write down the message or messages I got from each person.  So here goes:

• Parents:  I'm smart so I should be a brain surgeon; mom didn't like to argue and wouldn't, she was very patient; dad had a short temper, he was fun to be with so I always wanted to be with him, he knew mom was in charge; very supportive, never told me how to live my life
• Siblings:  liked to tell me I was adopted because I got good grades and was smart; didn't seem to want to spend much time with me, probably because of the age gap
• Former teacher:  don't worry about what people say about you, she liked to say, "consider the source."
• Husband:  very supportive, never tells me I can't do something, man of few words, wants me to make more money so he can retire and be a house husband (actually, I wouldn't mind that!)
• Friends:  always tell me I'm the normal one of the level-headed one.  I'm expected to always know what to do.  That's a lot of pressure.
• Old boyfriend:  I have a pretty face, but need to work on the rest of me.

So, what did I get out of this?  Everyone always told me how smart I was (am) so I always wanted to prove them right.  I strove for not just good grades, but straight As, honor society, and Dean's List.  That carried over into my job.  I had to make sure I not only kept up, but got ahead, climbed the ladder fast, and got the praise and recognition.

a return to positive thinking

Something dawned on me this morning (HAHA get it??)...I've become a negative thinker over the last few months.

It didn't occur to me until this morning when I was contemplating getting out of bed.  Remember how I said we're looking to buy a house?  Bob and I have been talking about one particular house for weeks now.  We went to an open house last month and spent over an hour there, way more time than anyone else who came to see it.  We must have gone through the house at least four times.  We came away feeling kind of 50/50 on the house.  It's old.  Very old.  But over the last several weeks we just haven't been able to get it out of our minds.  So last night we made a list of the pros and cons.  Then this morning we both woke up and pretty much said, "This is the one."

So, anyway, when I was in bed this morning it suddenly occurred to me that I've become very negative lately, which I know is due to the fact that I took the wrong job and am miserable.  It's plaguing other areas of my life, like a disease.  Any time I think about hopefully getting the job I want or buying a new house, all I can think about is why I won't get that job or why we won't be able to buy the house (offer won't be accepted, house will have structural issues, can't sell ours, appraisal won't come out to enough to pay off the mortgage and we'll be stuck, no one will want to rent from us, etc.).  And that is very unlike me.  All my life I've been one to just make up my mind I'm going to do something and then I just go and do it.  Yes, I think about it and consider the pros and cons, but once my mind is made up it's all positive thoughts.  I'm always 100% convinced that X is going to happen and it does, pretty much without fail.  It never enters into my mind that I can't do something or I won't get the outcome I want.  It just won't happen.

I guess the point is, when I woke up this morning and decided I want that house, my positive thinking returned.  And my energy.  My body is positively humming with energy right now.  So much so that the amount of time it's taking me to type this is just agonizing, because I want to move onto the next thing.  I hate when things feel stagnant.  I want action and want things to move forward.  I've had enough of standing still, no matter what area of my life it is.

today's breakfast

I've been looking for breakfast sausage that's different, lower in fat and calories, and higher in protein.  On my last trip to BJ's Wholesale, I found chicken sausage that seemed to fit the bill.  It's called Harvestland Maple and Apple Chicken Breakfast Sausage.  A serving is two links (57g).  Two very big links.  A serving has 100 calories, 5g fat, 3g carbs, and 11g protein.

I cooked them in the frying pan with some cooking spray, then I added a little water and put the lid on for a few minutes.  Then I took them out and used the same pan to fry my egg.

I was able to finish the meal, mainly because I fried the egg rather than scrambling it.  I find a runny yolk takes up less room in my stomach.

I wasn't thrilled with this sausage.  They cooked up well and had a good texture.  I like the size of the links and the nutritional stats, but the flavor was too fake-maple-y.  All I could taste was maple and not the chicken or the apple. This isn't something I would buy again.  Maybe if it was just chicken and apple flavor, I would.

working on me

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I'm unhappy with my new job.  Mostly I'm unhappy because I took the wrong job.  I discovered only a week into it that I just don't want to do this kind of work anymore.  Actually, I knew on the first day when I pulled into the parking lot.  I had an overwhelming gut feeling that I was in the wrong place, and actually said it out loud before I even turned the engine off.  But I ignored it, figuring it was just nerves and told myself to give things a chance.  After all, I was in one place for 17 years.  After 2 1/2 weeks, though, I knew it wasn't just nerves.  I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd made a horrible mistake. So, I contacted the other company that I turned down twice for different jobs.  Unfortunately, I couldn't get in there.  There's still hope, and I won't know for sure for another month or so, but now I'm worried about what I'll do if I can't get that job.

At almost 40 years old, I'm struggling with what I want to be "when I grow up."  I never thought I'd be in this position at this stage of my life.  I thought I'd be at my old job forever.  Naive, I know.  I do know I don't want to do a lot of what I did at my last job.  I was a Jill-of-all-trades there, which meant I had tons to do and was involved in everything.  I always bitched and moaned that I couldn't "get anything done because of this or because of that," or "if only I didn't have to do X then I would be able to devote more time to Y," etc. I thought I wanted to be focused in one area and not have to deal with all the other garbage.  Turns out I love the garbage.  And the diversity and independence I had.  The things I thought were a royal pain in the ass at the time turned out to be the things that made the other half of the job, the half that required documentation and lots of attention to detail, tolerable.

I've been stressing out quite a bit, trying to figure out what kind of job I'll look for if I don't get into the company I want to get into.  In order to try and figure it out, I bought a self-help book I saw mentioned on a blog I read, I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was, by Barbara Sher.  I've started reading it and I like so far.  There are lots of exercises to do.  Then it dawned on me today:  I'll blog about the book and the exercises.  I figure it will help me get through the book (I've never yet finished a self-help book) and it will provide some entertainment to whoever is reading this blog.  I'll start posting about it this week.

cannoli creme-filled strawberries

Happy Easter!

Today I'm headed to my sister's house for Easter dinner, then over to my sister-in-laws for another meal.  I asked my sister if I should bring something and she said to bring something I can eat for dessert.  Since I seem to have lost my sweet tooth, I decided I wouldn't bring anything at all.  But then I saw a recipe for strawberries filled with cannoli-flavored creme (here).  Since there's no added sugar, and I had a whole tub of ricotta in the fridge, I figured I'd make it to bring today.

I changed the recipe a little.  I find the Torani SF syrups to be a little too sweet sometimes, so I used 3/4 tsp of bourbon vanilla extract and 1.5 packets of Splenda instead.  Besides, why not use real vanilla?  I also doubled the ricotta,.because it looked like I had more the 12 strawberries in the package.  This is really something you can adjust to your own tastes.  I like a strong vanilla flavor, but if you don't just drop the vanilla down to 1/2 tsp.  And if it's too sweet, drop the Splenda down to 1 packet.

Cannoli Creme-filled Strawberries

24 large ripe strawberries, washed & cored
1 cup ricotta cheese
3/4 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 packets of Splenda
a few dashes of cinnamon

Toppings for dipping (optional):
unsweetened coconut
chocolate chips or grated chocolate
chopped nuts

Wash and core strawberries.  Set aside. If the strawberries are very juicy, put them upside down on a paper towel so they can drain a little.

Mix the ricotta, vanilla, Splenda, and cinnamon together.

Spoon mixture into a Ziploc bag and seal (or use a cake decorating bag fitted with a star tip, if you have that).

Cut end off the plastic bag and pipe the mixture into the strawberries. Dip into optional toppings.

mid-afternoon sunbath

The kitties are loving this gorgeous weather this weekend.  It's 62 and sunny.  Most of them are on the porch, but Max and Louise are hanging out in the kitchen windows.  Bailey came by later, too.