"Come on, just one more!"

I wrote this post for a community Facebook page, which got published today, and thought I'd share it here.  

Enjoy! (And feel free to ask me anything in the comments.)

“Come on, just one more!” 

I’ve been hearing, saying, or thinking that phrase my whole life. When I was a chubby kid, I always wanted just one more cookie. When I was an overweight teenager, I wanted just one more Chicken McNugget. When I was an obese young adult, I wanted just one more slice of pizza. And when I was a morbidly obese adult, I wanted just one more cheeseburger. Nowadays, I push myself to do just one more pushup.

So, how did I go from “just one more cookie” to “just one more push-up”? Weight loss surgery. Specifically, gastric bypass. 

It took me about 10 years, many different diets, and an all-time high of 343 pounds to make the decision to do it, mainly because I thought of it as “quitting” or “taking the easy way out.” Weight loss surgery is neither of these things. What is it? It’s a tool. And just like most tools, the effort you put into using it correctly determines how well it works. And honestly, I think it’s much harder than losing weight in the typical manner. Why? Because even though it physically makes it much harder to overeat, it doesn’t fix the mind. If you’re someone who is obese because you’re bored, use food as a reward, or ignore your feelings through the use of food, weight loss surgery is not going to magically fix these things; these habits and feelings don’t go away simply because the scale is quickly trending downwards. What it takes is changing your habits:  exercise; eat better; and avoid using food as a reward, something to do, as an emotional crutch, etc.

I had gastric bypass surgery in 2013. What got me there, finally, is a very embarrassing and humiliating experience, which happened twice within a week: I was unable to buckle my seatbelt for the first time in my life while flying both to and from Las Vegas. The flight going to Las Vegas was more embarrassing, because the male flight attendant shouted up to his coworker at the front of the plane that he needed the seatbelt extender. Coming home, the woman flight attendant grabbed an extender, palmed it in her hand, and quietly slipped it into mine, for which I was grateful. But it wasn’t just those two moments. It was the five years leading up to them: the frequent acid reflux and heartburn; the fact that I’d go to grocery store, buy three (yes, three!) candy bars and eat them all before I even left the parking lot; and it had become very difficult to find clothing I liked AND that actually fit, which is really hard mentally when you’re only 39 years old. I realized I’d be 400 pounds in no time if I didn’t do something.

So, I signed up for an information seminar, made the decision, and did six months of pre-op preparation and testing to make it happen. Over the last seven years it’s been quite the journey:  I lost 143 pounds; had a tummy tuck with muscle repair; then developed back issues, which resulted in lumbar fusion in 2020; regained 50 pounds after back surgery due to the pandemic, less activity, and emotional eating; and now I’ve discovered I have bursitis and osteoarthritis in both hips, as well as gluteal tendinosis in one hip. Even though it hasn’t been completely smooth sailing, it was the best thing I ever did for myself and don’t regret it—it helped me to change my habits and my lifestyle. 

Do I still want “just one more” when I decide to treat myself? Absolutely, and that will probably never go away. But the last seven years has helped me turn that desire for “more” into pushing myself more to do just one more pushup. The desire to continue to be a weight loss surgery success story outweighs my desire to have that extra piece of pizza. 

I included the pictures below with the post. My "before" picture (left) was taken in September 2013.  I took a cruise to Bermuda with two of my sisters. I was roughly 340 pounds at that point.  Three months later I had gastric bypass surgery. My "after" picture (right) was taken in Huntington Beach, CA, in September 2016 while on a business trip. This was about six months after I started working with my trainer. I believe I was around 220 pounds. I had gained back about 19 pounds at that point and stayed there until I had the abdominoplasty in March 2017. I got down to 200 and then regained that 20 pounds. I hovered around 220/230 until March of 2020 when I had back surgery. Then...well, the pandemic hit and I had a rough year, both mentally and physically. But I'm doing much better now. 

  

I'm now working on losing the excess weight I gained in 2020 after the lumbar fusion. It's hard to believe that one year after two back surgeries, I'm able to do standing chest presses with a 50-pound barbell. It might not sound like a lot of weight, but it is for someone who has always had shitty upper body strength and had major back surgery a year ago. I'll always need to protect the fusion, but I'm almost back to where I was prior to surgery and that's a good feeling; I never thought I'd get to this point.

fitness challenge update--just a bit late

Part of my fan club. Emily, Bailey, and Arlo. Yes, Emily and Arlo are twins!

Well, that didn't work out. When I started this 12-week fitness challenge I said I'd post every week with an update and that happened exactly once. But in my defense, I've had a lot going on the last few weeks.

Work was insanely busy due to an annual project whose deadline was unexpectedly about three weeks earlier than planned. I and another team member busted our butts for a week gathering all the information and inputting it, and then...I logged in that Thursday and half of it had been blown away somehow. So, I had to recreate all that work we just did by copying and pasting from the other document that somehow was left untouched (same system that blew away the first one), downloading the document history and pulling information from there, and then taking information from last year's document (it gets updated every year) and putting it into the current one. And then one person who needed to provide some information had system problems, too--his server crashed--so I had to ask an IT person to create a report for us in order to get that information. Let me say, the guy is a saint--he turned it around in an hour!

Given the rough week I had, I didn't eat very well at all and it showed on the scale.

Then this past week I had cortisone shots in both hips. I'd had an MRI a few weeks ago, which showed bursitis and osteoarthritis in both hips, as well as some tendonitis in the left hip. The hip pain has been ongoing since probably June of last year, which is a really long time! I'm pretty sure a lot of it was caused by recovering from back surgery during a pandemic, since I couldn't get out much and get back to a regular routine. I'd had two rounds of cortisone shots last year--one worked and one didn't.  I'd been dragging my feet since November in regard to going to a hip doctor (back surgeon gave me the shots) and finally in January I sucked it up and made an appointment. The doctor ordered the MRI and the follow-up appointment was really frustrating and disappointing. I left feeling like he didn't listen to me at all.  Some doctors don't seem to understand that someone who has had gastric bypass surgery is pretty limited when it comes to oral medications.  I can't have any NSAIDs, like Advil or Aleve, which are the things I need right now since they reduce inflammation. Tylenol can be used with no problem, but I've been taking it daily for 3+ years--usually the max daily dosage in one go, sometimes twice a day, which is A  LOT--so my tolerance for Tylenol is extremely high. At this point, it doesn't even work for a headache anymore. And lots of doctors will not prescribe pain meds these days, which is really my only option now if I want real, fast pain relief--it's incredibly frustrating. Also, I think some doctors are biased against weight loss surgery, which can affect treatment. So, not only did this doctor become visibly frustrated with me when I asked about short-term pain relief until I can get the pain under control through physical therapy and/or cortisone shots, he also didn't explain anything about the MRI results in terms of the arthritis, which is a new diagnosis for me.  I struggled with the decision, but I went in search of another doctor and it turned out to be a good experience. He showed me my MRI and x-rays, and explained everything he was seeing; he told me to ignore the arthritis for now as it's very mild; and he showed me some YouTube videos of exercises I can do to stretch out and strengthen my hips muscles. He gave me the cortisone shots Thursday and today I'm feeling a lot better. The pain isn't completely done yet, but I definitely feel much better than I did before the shots. Also, the pain from one of the shots (left hip) was pretty bad these last couple days. Thankfully that subsided yesterday.

This week's story is I ate better, but didn't get in many workouts since my hips were killing me after the cortisone injections. 

So here's my progress to date:  I've lost about 11 pounds, I'm journaling my food intake everyday, and I'm eating better. I'll take it!