it just Dawned on me . . .: five years post-op

Today marks five years since I had gastric bypass. Two days before Christmas, since my insurance would be changing a couple weeks later. I was discharged on Christmas Eve, and my Christmas dinner was a Fuzzy Navel protein drink and Christmas movies with my husband and the kitties.

I've been trying to figure out what I should write for this post. It snuck up on me due to Christmas, so I haven't had time to really think about it. I'll sum up the last five years:

This is the best decision I ever made for myself and my health. I thought I was healthy when I was morbidly obese, but it turned out that I had severe sleep apnea, gallstones, a hiatal hernia, acid reflux, and I was borderline diabetic.

This was easy for me, physically. Mentally, that's a different story. It's really hard to still have the desire to eat all the food and then get full after eating maybe 1/3 of my meal.

I started out at 343 pounds and my lowest weight was 203. I'm about 223 at the moment. I think a 20 pound gain over five years isn't bad at all. I've kept off more than 85% of my weight loss, which is a pretty big deal.

Although gastric bypass limits your food capacity, it doesn't fix your mind. You'll still want food, you may still want to binge, and you may even feel like crying when you can overindulge the way you used to. That's why you need to learn how to deal with your feelings in some other way. You'll no longer be able to sit down with a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream when you've had a bad day.

People may judge you for having had weight loss surgery. Only you can decide if you're comfortable sharing with others. Personally, I really don't give a shit if people judge me or not. I tell anyone who will listen that I've had the surgery, it's the best thing I've ever done, and it's a tool, just like any other. You get out of it what you put into it. GIGO=garbage in, garbage out. At events, I don't stand in the corner with my three little hors d'oeuvres hoping people don't notice I haven't touched it. (Although these days I can eat more that I used to right after surgery, so this isn't really A Thing anymore anyway.)

I finally developed the habit of exercise. Do I love it? Hell no. But I can deal with it. I like the way I feel when I'm done, and I like that it makes me feel strong. It also helps my back.

A few before and after pictures:

2013, before surgery.