tummy tuck update: three-month anniverary

(Note:  Ignore the funky spacing and off-center pics. Not sure what Blogger is trying to do to me today, but it's being a PITA.)

It's been three months since my tummy tuck. Three long months. Or three short months, depending on how I feel on a particular day.

I went for my almost-three-month checkup with the surgeon on May 19. That went well. She was happy with the results and said it had healed "beautifully."  She took pictures for the file and asked how my workouts were going. She noted that on each hip where the incision ends, I have little puckers of skin. This gets annoying, as they can be sensitive. I'm always on edge when Bob goes to hug me or run has hand down my hip. It bothers me when I wear certain pants, too. It's pretty common for this to happen, though, and she will be able to fix it quickly in an office visit. She told me to come back at the end of the summer and she'll fix it. If it bothers me a lot, I can come earlier, but later in the summer would be best since my healing will be complete by then.

As for my workouts, I'm working out. I went back to my trainer several weeks ago. He took it easy on me, but he's ramping it up now. I started working out on my own also. I started at two days per week on my own, plus one with the trainer. I'm now doing three days on my own.  Soon I'll be back to four days on my own. It's getting easier, although I find I'm winded faster these days. But that will improve as I build up my endurance more.

Weight. Hmmm..my weight.  My weight has gone up about 10 pounds since surgery. There are a few reasons for that.  Most of all it's because I'm just having a difficult time reigning my eating in after pushing so hard prior to surgery. Afterwards it was basically a free-for-all and it's hard to break that mindset.  And some personal things going on have made that harder than usual.  But I'm working on it. If I can stick to somewhere around 1,700 calories a day, I'll lose the extra pounds and get under 200. Although I don't visibly look like I gained weight, the scale doesn't lie and I can feel the difference a few pounds makes.

Clothing has been a bit of a pain. After surgery the only things I could wear comfortably were pajama pants and leggings, provided the elastic waist was loose, stretchy elastic. For a long time I couldn't wear much else because part of my incision was still open and very sensitive, but I can now wear some of my button-and-zipper pants. Jeans are kind of iffy, as they feel scratchy and tight to me. I still wear my compression garment when I wear certain pants, as it helps to eliminate the irritation pants cause my belly button and the ends of my incision on my hips. I really don't need it for anything else. I still swell a bit from time to time, but not so much that I really need the garment. As far as my pants size, I'm still a 16. My waist measurement didn't change; however, with all the extra abdominal skin gone, my pants look and fit better. Do I wish I'd lost a couple sizes? Sometimes. But I'm OK with the fact that I didn't.

Here's the new belly button. It's weird looking to me still, but everyone tells me, "It looks like a belly button." I guess because it's not frowning anymore, it seems like it's weird looking. I've started using scar gel, so it should start looking less red pretty soon.

How do I feel about my new body? I love it. For the first time in my life, I feel confident and not self-conscious. I feel like it looks like a plus-sized model's body looks (although, I think it's pretty stupid that a size 16 is considered plus-sized, and I'm not saying I actually look like a model). I like my shape and my flat belly. I love that I can actually see my feet for the first time. And I can see my whole body when I look down, not just my huge belly. I find, though, that I still act as if my extra skin is there. When I'm washing dishes, I'm usually a little farther away from the sink. When Bob hugs me, I tend to lean in with my upper body only. When I bend over to get something, I tend to spread and bend my legs as though I need to accommodate my extra skin, kind of like a squat. It's weird, and it's taking my mind a little while to catch up.

And as for how I feel physically, I'm almost 100%. It's a long process. I feel like I was over-prepared for the pain during the first week, as it wasn't quite as bad as I thought, whereas I feel I was under-prepared mentally and physically for the long haul.  I feel as though I shouldn't be feeling any weird sensations in my abs, or certain areas shouldn't be sensitive anymore. My trainer keeps telling me, "You're still healing!" I know he's trying to manage my expectations and wants me to go slowly so I don't hurt myself, but it's tough. I want to stop feeling the pulling sensation I get in the same spot in my abs all the time when I turn over in bed, or when I sneeze or cough. I don't want to get tired out so easily when I workout. I'd like for the surface of my skin to not feel so sensitive all the time. But I'm getting there. Before long, I'll start to feel like me again. I just have to remember that I'm only three months out from surgery. In another few months, it will all be just a blip on the radar.